A day left me tired and worn
carpet under millions of feet
Send a kid to the fridge their
mission to provide relief
The can could be rusted and old
only the content matters
I know, once opened, the day
will drift from my soul
My body craves the liquid joy
my mind scratches at it's walls
I draw out the anticipation
needing to fill the void
Ice cold, my fingers grip
the cylinder of salvation
Salavation pools and I swallow
seeking undiluted taste
Lips part and the chestnut brew
fills my mouth fizzing, pleasing
Emotions melt ice in fire I'm
calm, serene, whole.
Author notes
Cans only
A contest entry
- Wet Your Whistle [CONTEST] by Touchof1der.
650 points, ended August 17, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
Given that beverages have been only canned in aluminum for a long time now, your drinks must be REALLY old if the can is rusty. This was exquisite in its description. I loved the way you made the reader feel the desire and the satisfaction of that liquid refreshment. Congrats on the gold! You earned it...
-
I love the way you left the contents up to each reader's imagination. The way you draw your readers in with your well selected words was also a great selling point to making this a wonderful read. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
♥ Touchof1der -
Talent. Talent, indeed. Though I knew that before reading this.
Nice.
-
hmmm nice write, I like your descriptive way of sharing this moment of relief. This turned out quite well, thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
-
mmmmmmmm. PEPSI!!!!!!!!!!
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
