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Aboriginals' Escape

silent
they

suffuse cold molecules
microscopic debris accumulated from decaying, alien husks
fog-plankton and clouds of disembodied scales
sand and stone and shell and sea

silently
spread within the captive bay
spread and glow upon the wrinkled face of commerce-clotted waters
spread and glow and glimmer broad arcs beneath dark, hulking hills

glimmer, glow, and focus upward
spin specks of light that call an unseen watcher’s touch--
startled starward they invest
become

a
moon

A contest entry

Criticism appreciated, read, and considered

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • islekine gold member
    September 9, 2007
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    Nicely done.

    *PEACE*


  • Cat
    August 10, 2007
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    very nice! congratulations!

    m


  • RedAquarius
    August 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This has a strangely compelling alien feel to it, that fits the starkness yet magical feel. I really liked "unseen watcher's touch", it struck something within me!


  • Danna Hobart
    August 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This was lovely and very original. Thanks for entering.


  • sublimewriter
    August 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this seems to be largely concrete, because the poem is in the shape of a moon. i was confused when i was reading the language component, because there's a lot of layers in this poem.

1 - 5 of 5