silent
they
suffuse cold molecules
microscopic debris accumulated from decaying, alien husks
fog-plankton and clouds of disembodied scales
sand and stone and shell and sea
silently
spread within the captive bay
spread and glow upon the wrinkled face of commerce-clotted waters
spread and glow and glimmer broad arcs beneath dark, hulking hills
glimmer, glow, and focus upward
spin specks of light that call an unseen watcher’s touch--
startled starward they invest
become
a
moon
A contest entry
- Can you beat the moon cliché? by Danna Hobart.
300 points, ended August 10, 2007, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Para-normal, crypto zoology, aliens, anything far out....okay adding MAGICAL MYSTICAL THINGS...Just don't give me ORDINARY! by islekine.
600 points, ended September 9, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Criticism appreciated, read, and considered
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Nicely done.
*PEACE*
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very nice! congratulations!
m -
This has a strangely compelling alien feel to it, that fits the starkness yet magical feel. I really liked "unseen watcher's touch", it struck something within me!


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This was lovely and very original. Thanks for entering.
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this seems to be largely concrete, because the poem is in the shape of a moon. i was confused when i was reading the language component, because there's a lot of layers in this poem.
1 - 5 of 5





