Oh, how it used to be
Outside I could see
The sky with clouds to watch
And storms that would stop
But light lay with night
Then as they tumble
The sky would rumble
And crack open with fright
Night would sway and moan
Scars in plain sight shone
A single frightened eye
A single wind of sigh
Relief will not come soon
Author notes
Eh. I'm pretty exhausted of those seasonal metaphores, figured I'd make a bipolar-esque, day/night, good/bad deal.
(*Doesn't expect any comments*)
Comments
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haha i wanted to comment just to prove you wrong...i like this but i think it could use a bit of polishing. i lvoe the way the middle part had internal rhymes in the first line and a different end line rhyme apttern thant he rest - it sets it apart as a bit of a 'No Man's Land', the neutral bit that doesn't belong to either section [dark/light day/night]
maybe elaborate a bit more on the actual sun and moon in their respective sections- the sun especially doesn't get much of a look in...
take care xxx
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