Once upon a time
Not so very long ago
There was a sad girl
Who phoned up the Samaritans
And said she was so unhappy
As her boy friend had dumped her
And her life wasn't worth living
Especially since she was overweight and spotty too
And the voice at the other end
Laughed
And
Laughed
And
Laughed
And said why not just slit your wrists
And save me the effort of wasting my life
Talking to silly bitches like you
So the girl did just that
And as she lay dying
On the bathroom floor
She noticed the date
On her digital watch
And guess what it said?
You got it: the First of April.
Her ex-boyfriend saw the joke.
A contest entry
- Pre-Write Appreciation Day 2007 by Kimojuno.
1000 points, ended September 14, 2007, 102 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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I came here to hate on ya cuz your such an ass with your comments, but I cant, this ones good too. :-)
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i love the story behind this poem but I'm not sure if I would really call it a poem as it is more like prose. But still, good message put across.
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Stupid avatar.
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very good
develop a history for the characters
draw a timeline
make an outline
add some innuendo
(breakfast in the morning with family
a afterschool gathering of classmates with a few practical jokes,
some nice scenery shots of mountains, blue skies, etc
a day at the carnival, etc)
dramatize it
you got a great made for tv movie
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Nice twist. I like this poem.
But yet, it had no rhythm. it had no rhyme. It just pretty much had words.
there is only an extent to what just words can do. -
Interesting twist, I like it.
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very intriguing, i love the twist at the end.
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People suck...but the poem was good
People can be so cruel.
Im all up for offensive poems...people are too squeamish about the truth.
I like the Samaritans reference.
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Very well written and a great twist at the end.
People sometimes dont know what their words can do to another...Great job..Good luck in the contest.
Soulful Woman
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I will be honest. I din't really enjoy it much. But I can say I love the colors you chose. Keep writing, it is the best therapy.
Hugs and bites,
Vampy
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Sad and evocative
I understand it...very poingnant, and reminds me of some friends and myself struggling with life at times. I like to see despair turned to hope though too. You wrote it well.
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do you think you can explain the last line for me? "her ex-boyfriend saw the joke" I think I may have a slight idea of what it may mean, but I don't really know. I would really appreciate it if you would explain that. Thank you
Alex -
Good write here
Yes that little twist at the end brought the whole thing together
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oooooooooooooooooooh,
i liked ths very much.
not offended in the least.
i thought this was quite brillant and creative.
made me think....
candy
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shine on
drank all the lemonade - only have recycled
love the jest and the jist-
god luck in the contest
B D
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beautiful. nice going. this is a really fun write,
I enjoyed it,keep it up!
thanks,
Creatress -
A VERY GOOD PIECE
ok explain what the joke is here?taking ones life is no joke to me but aside from that it is a good write thank you for sharing it and good luck in the contest -
Good poem!
This is absolutely astonishing!! I love the images that were bound tightly in a beautiful frame. They spoke to my body, mind, and soul....
I also love how the poem was pieced together. My eyes joyfully sensitized each and every word as I read it....
I am a very empathetic person, so each poem that I read, I can feel. I felt absolute accomplishment of taking my time to read this poem...
Great Job!!
Good luck in the contest!
Cith...
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wow
not offended but now i'm thinking. by-the-by dan d lion i love that!
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you are dowwn wwith the sickness
two thumbs up
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WHOOOOAA!!!!
No offence taken here on this captivating piece. I was intrigued by the title, and continued to read. As the end drew near I thought wow, what a fantastic closing. I loved this write.
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