So it is said,
that the rain
came up from the earth,
To quench the trees
that hung from the sky.
In the poets dream.
When push came to shove,
and ashes to ashes,
we would all fall down.
But not in a poet's dream,
When dust came to dust,
we would rise up
with reams of poetry,
reaching for the trees
and pulling down the sun
to prevent the rain
from coming up.
OH Mankind !
You have given me
so much to say,
so much to write.
The scholars and philosophers
who look far beyond the realm
of human existence ask,
What will the poets write?
They will write,
That it might have
been better seen
what was ahead,
by looking over
their shoulder.
If only
they had looked,
in the poets dream.
Author notes
We call it a mystery train,
but it just goes in circles.
Just a little bit of history
repeating itself.
A contest entry
- Help me find my muse! by Chazz.
4500 points, ended December 27, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - zeniths II by dewfall.
1200 points, ended September 20, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show Me Who You Are by Sharon Lynn.
1750 points, ended September 13, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 87 of 87
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AWESOME
As a fellow poet, I take in all of life for my paper; on hundreds of sheets of paper to you read my world into a mental picture. You explained thousands, millions of documents from poets everywhere and of any type how, why, and what they create. The imagery is wonderous in it, and it is extremely truthful. I am very glad that you chose to put it up on a list; reading it was definately not a waste of my life.
My personal favorite stanzas were:
"OH Mankind !
You have given me
so much to say,
so much to write.
The scholars and philosophers
who look far beyond the realm
of human existence ask,
What will the poets write?"
I would love to read the rest of your items.
You can expect that.
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lovely
lovely poem absolutely adore the imagery and wording is breathless i beleive i have read 4 of your poems and they just cease to amaze me very wonderfull writting and as it has been said before keep at it - Laura Cousineau
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great!
Lowell, this is really DEEP and poetic to me. The imagery is unique but still has that universal appeal. I really love the ease of the language.
So it is said,
that the rain
came up from the earth,
To quench the trees
that hung from the sky.
What a phrase. I like the soul search of this. And yes, we both seem to share some perceptions about life... I do love the Author's note:
We call it a mystery train,
but it just goes in circles.
Just a little bit of history
repeating itself.
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Outstanding imagery, Poe. Sky trees and ground rain, a dream indeed. Melancholy musings. Clicked this from shameless... glad it was one of yours.
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This was deep. I will keep her in my prayers. It is never a good day when a poet is taken away
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intresting
i like the emotion and feel of this write maybe you could do something more with the background anyway well done about winning the trophy and keep penning the enthusiastic poetry!
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fine use of language.love the paradoxical imagery and the philosphy of the ideas.excellent writing.
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Great piece of poetry
Wow, a poem that reads like true poetry, flow is great and like the judge said, this poem has a lot going for it. Well done and the best of luck in the contest.
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I do have to say, in every contest I've ever hosted, I've never given anything to someone who jumps in and post a prewritten poem moments after it's created, but I have never hosted a contest like this before. This poem has a lot going for it and may be just what I need to get my muse back. If so, you'll be the first to get to read it...Good luck and thanks for your inspiring entry!
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WOW!!
When push came to shove,
and ashes to ashes,
we would all fall down.
But not in a poet's dream,
I loved those lines! But the poem in whole was beautiful! For anyone who writes they will know this is brilliant. We see beyond what others do and we describe and create a world of our own. Amazingly beautiful. Well done!
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"if only
they had looked
in the poets dream."
seriously..where do you get the thoughts for poems and such as this? My mind is BLOWN AWAY with how amazing your poems are. The more i read the more i find myself falling in love with them.
ing alone,
Mylee -
Interesting
I like it
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Beautiful
I just love your works. Your knack for feeling out the untrodden path is envious. I love the flow and sentiment and strong statements in this piece. Yours in poetry, Your gypsy
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wow.
i definitley liked this.
my favorite part was:
"When push came to shove,
and ashes to ashes,
we would all fall down."
The allusions in this were excellent. thank you for an interesting read.
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Not what i expected from the title, but a great poem. I like the reversal of natural occurances, "that the rain
came up from the earth,
To quench the trees
that hung from the sky."
and ode to inspiration this seems like. Inspiration is a powerful thing, easy to lose and hard to find.
Keep it up -
Brilliant! I love it. I can imagine it being in literary history books sometime in the future - it's just that kind of poem. So beautiful...
JADE RAYNE*
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As this is a poem, it might seem quite silly to say this sounds "poetic" but that's the first word that cam to my mind when I read this for the first time.
What I see in this poem is that you only have to use your imagination and believe in your dreams but that it's also important to remember and learn from the past.
Such an interesting and truly beautiful poem.
Thank you so much for entering my contest!
Keep on writing!
Annie
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EXCELLENT!
Lowell,THANKS for expressing yourself in this. I admire your words and own style. I enjoyed seeing part of your dream!!
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Hmm this is a well thought out poem. I do like it and liked the flow and rhythm as well. This provokes a great deal of thought. Thank you for sharing
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I loved this write, but found this stanza "
When push came to shove,
and ashes to ashes,
we would all fall down." to be rather cliche. Otherwise, I enjoy that you suggest looking backward in order to know how to progress- we must be critical of our past in order to learn from our mistakes, we must be aware of what has already been done in order to do something different, or to "Make it New". Very nice.
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Nice work Lowell
What a wonderful work here Lowell! Nice job on the message of a poet's dream. THANKS SO MUCH!!
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This is beautiful! Rising up from the ashes like a phoenix... Poets recieve the gifts of life. And pass them on to the others.
"So it is said,
that the rain
came up from the earth,
To quench the trees
that hung from the sky."
Love it
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"When dust came to dust,
we would rise up
with rings of poetry,
reaching for the trees
and pulling down the sun
to prevent the rain
from coming up." Breath-taking. The lengths we will go to to capture what's inside. You've taken a tired poetry inspiration that's become stale and refreshed it; you've said in one short poem what others have attempted to say in thousands. The image this piece paints is stark, aching, and lovely.
Wonderfully done!
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Amen!
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in line 25: "what will the poet's write" you don't need the apostrophe. other than that it's a stellar write! great job.
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The irony that is part of life, especially a poet's life, ... you've captured it beautifully. The flow was perfect, the imagery evocative, the subject a most interesting paradox. Well done, Bluebird
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as poets we inspie to change things wither in our head or grander dreams i loved this it touches me deeply the flow is fantastic and the title is perfect, great writing poet ( : best of luck in this contest
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Bless the poets
It is said that dreams have a meaning. It seems to me they do. In a way, poems are like the dreams of the poet. They can be interpreted in many different ways but the true meaning lies with the dreamer. So dream on my friend, but please rise long enough to share you dreams with the rest of us. Thanks for sharing this dream.
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awesome work : your last couple of lines are a blast they tell everything this one open all must scan an eye its fabs great work goodlucks too
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Loved it
I have always believed in history repeating itself.
If you want to know the future look into the past.
I think this poem of yours is very beutiful and inspiring.
Look forward to reading more from you, or maybe I already have....
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nice!
I liked the imagery you envoked. I really liked how poet's seem to have their own little world within the world. A cool concept, I think. The flow was well done here.
An overall wonderful write!
Cheers!
S
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That is a great poem. I love the image you described, the tought behind it, and how you chose to describe it...Awesome.
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Wow. Very visual and flowing. I loved it. Keep up the good work.
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I like this poem, especially the light it puts poets into. We're artists, we use our words as our medium and our verses are the lines we paint, perhaps to lead eyes to believe, perhaps to lead souls to their forgotten emotions.
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haha, yes, i get it, well i think there is definatly a market for like faux carry on film scripts... yes, if they ever decide to re-make the series of films i would go for a scriptwriters job straight away, you have talent!!
OH Mankind !
You have given me so much to say,
so much to write.
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I agree with James Dean. I don't see where the history is repeating itself. And I don't know about anyone else, but I tend to steer clear of cliches, and I'm not sure about "ashes to ashes", but I know
"When push came to shove" is a cliche, and though it sounds okay, I think if you weaved in an original phrase, this poem would let me read it smoother. And also, I think lines 14 and 10 should be consoladated. Maybe you could make those lines into two lines each? Now the things I liked: I loved the title, that sounds kinda mysterious-like, or something. I especially like the first 3 lines. They're great for opening lines of a poem, and sound very powerful. Overall, I think if you might tweak those minor things, You'll be great. -
didn't really see how it was history repeating itself. i did however, very much enjoy all the first five versees. i thought they were very nicely constructed to be read aloud with a simple and elegant flow. besides the fact that i just plain ol' liked what they said. but most of all [and what i am very jealous of] is the imagery of hanging trees and what that says about poets.
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this was a great write keep it up.
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in a poets dream...lovely. Chalk full of stuff, imagery and notions. Well done little mystery train
Creatress -
I like it!! Especially the line, "when dust came to dust, we would rise up with rings of poetry, reaching for the trees and pulling down the sun to prevent the rain from coming up..." Very profound, and true!
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Very cool idea.
That was well thought out, and I was impressed with the way you wrote it.
Keep it up
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NICE!!!!!!!!!!!
Awesome penning you have whipped up here!!! Love, love the concept, it is sooooooo us!!!!!!!!!
SWEET
POETDONTKNOWIT -
Great
Exactly what I look for in great poems, dreams mixed with reality. well done, there's a dream of a poet described there yet it has a hint of reality behind it. The idea to look up to the sky when reality comes crashing down is something I live by. And the idea of creating your own world is something I felt was there but had to see in writing to remember. well done, I realy enjoyed this write, I shall try to look at more of your works soon, I sometimes wonder how I stumble accross miracles like this when I'm loking for answers, feels a bit like I'm just a part of masterplan, well back to reality. ^^
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It made me feel that poetry is ever living at the "ashes to ashes" bit - very true and very well written
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great write i kidof interpret this as an "you can only accomplise what you tell youself you can, or you can do anything if you try sorta thing, good write anyway, well done keep on writting and peace out, -freedom of soul-
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Thank you so much my friend.
The fact that you took time from your life to read my work means a great deal to me.
Poetry only tips it's hat for you to go and create your own world.
I will be sure to look at you work.
MANY BLESSINGS MY FRIEND,
LOWELL POE.
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wow
This is quite an amazing write you have here. "In the poets dream"- this line is sort of haunting throughout the whole poem and even after Ive read it, I can find myself repeating it in my head. Very beautiful and full of life. You've done a great job here. -
OHMYGOSH. Here I am browsing the site when I find a poem that looks interesting only to find that it's yours. You're such an amazing writer and this is such an amazing poem. Once again, I'm pretty sure almost everyone can relate to this poem. It is very cryptic and you have to think about it to actually understand it. "So it is said that the rain came up from the earth,
To quench the tree's that hung from the sky,
In the poet's dream." That part was my absolute favorite but the poem as a whole was just...wow. I felt like I was going through a euphoric state when I read this. It was strangely calming. Amazing.
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excellent job in here!I love the way you mixed simple words within intriguing combinations!this poem truly challanges the reader with some interesting twistings of idea!well done indeed!
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Very well said...Life does go around in circles and at times history does repeat itself. It is just the way life is...sometimes it can be good to repeat other times we must learn lessons from the repetition. Great job.
Soulful Woman
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You proposed a piece so well! I thoroughly enjoyed this poem an with an exceeding amount of enjoyment and anticipation. You did such a great job again! I look forward to reading the rest of your work. It seems to me as if previous others who commented on this before does not understand the unfathomable concept you so proposed with surrealistic grace. I loved this poem very much and congratulate you!
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Wonderful
Oh how excited I felt to be able to read this poem. I also felt hopeful as I learn poetry for I am new. You are gifted. So many increadible poetry this morning and I am new at this so please know I so appreciated your poem! In a Poet's Dream wonderful I do dream and it was raining but for us as poet's we can dream beyond mankind in general. You are so gifted!! I am so new at this and you are a teacher to me. I could totally understand your poem so thank you. What kind of poetry is this for I was told there are 5 types of poetry is this true?? I just do rhyming poetry. And have only been writing for less then a year and I'm 45. You are so gifted, excellent writing and reading!!
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Poetic yes, beauty comes in all shapes and forms. I heard this piece of advice lately and I shall share it, "In order to be a true poet, one must learn to listen. Listen to sky, earth, clouds, birds, then heart. They will lead your voice".
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The piece ties in well with the traditional role of the poet. “So it is said” echoes the ancient formulae by which poets asserted their authority for speaking; then come the inversions of image and expectation—rain rising, trees hanging in the sky, pulling down the sun. All things that poets alone are capable of knowing.
You handle the theme well: the circularity of wisdom and understanding.
A couple of technical points: Line 2, 10: “trees” rather than “tree’s”; Line 3, 13: “poet’s” rather than “poets.” And the three long lines seem to overbalance the rest of the poem visually.
But I think you have done this well. Congratulations.
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This is very true and very cleverly written. I admire the way this has been done, well done you!
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poets dream...
Very good poet! Very deep and thought provoking. I must say I have to agree with you... it all just goes in circles and history keeps repeating.
Fine stuff!
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life does repeat itself, same things happen to different people over and over again. Liked the title you chose for these lines and the lines: they will write that it might have been better seen what was ahead by looking over your shoulder.
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I really enjoyed the concepts in this poem especially this one, "They will write,
That it might have been better seen what was ahead,
by looking over your shoulder."
So much said with out saying much at all very good read
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ooooo i liked the feel to it
very good imagery too as well
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woot woot
Well done.
I've read this a few times and I love it.
They will write,
That it might have been better seen what was ahead,
by looking over your shoulder.
If only they had looked,
in the poets dream.
I love those lines so true. -
this is a great write!! i like the last lines the most. kind of an eerie hind sight thing
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haha. Excellent.
"Pulling down the sun to prevent the rain from coming up." is just one of the great lines you have here. The third stanza sound cliche, but I find it well placed in the poem. It helps demonstrate the difference between the poet's dream and the rest of reality. Hope that makes sense.
Again, great poem. -
Confused, surreal, disjointed... But full of imagery and metaphor - 'A Poet's Dream' - Perfect!
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Great
I really enjoyed this read, even though it seems a little lost and hopeless. But the read it self was a great flow and a good topic.
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this is so beautifully simplistic. its pure and whimsical and it has a grateful sound to it as well. fantastic write.
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you continue to amaze me....this was fantastic and so damn true.
damn!
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In the poet's dream we hide,
Duck our heads and close our eyes,
Letting words wrap our souls,
Caress our weakened frames,
Allow us but a moments piece,
Before we are shunted into another realm,
A night mare of sorts.
The nightmare where reality hides.
~*~*~
-Danneh
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Do a little dance
your poem rocks.
you are going in my favorites,I wish I could write this well.
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I like it. It has some very surreal imagery to it. The part I really enjoy would have to be this
'When push came to shove,
and ashes to ashes,
we would all fall down.'
It is very emotionful.
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we love repeating ourselves. I pray no more. Great poem, very surreal. Keep it goin'
Creatress -
In the poets dream...NO matter what comes are goes the world around us can be viewed differently in this poets mind...Answers beyond reason...knowledge beyond years, all in this poets dreams... The mystery train of the printed word from this poets mind...You are a wonderful poet my brother! Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful heart with me
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woah this is familer X_X i allready read it but never the less lovely work my freind
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BRAVO!!!
Loved this true analogy on the poet and the dream - of mankind. We're always looking ahead for signs, when all we really have to go on is our past... This poem is very well written, and one that I'll remember for a long time to come. Thank you for sharing - the truth!!! Peace, Cyn
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GORGEOUS!!!
I love it. I love it.
I can't begin to just single out moments and lines throughout the write, because it's all quite amazing. I'm going to dig through some of your other writes.
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this is great. and i'd have to agree with your authors notes. it's a great piece and very relatable. nice job.
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Very interesting thoughts... nicely written!
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Oh, I love the way you wrote this! It entertainingly good! You carried me along from start to finish you had me all the way! NICE JOB!
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Stimulating poem
I Like your upside down verses of life, and the world. I guess It like they say about life, we need balance, but sometimes we need to get off the straight and narrow and look for the curves and hills. To give our lives insight from the other side of our minds. I like you write
(LISA)
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very good my friend nice work had a feeling of a wonderer wacthing the world change and unchage back a full circle in time
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I like the way you have used the title within the poem itself, and the content itself just blew me away. so many crazy and kooky thoughts here, amazing.
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So true, so true - A poet sees distortions of reality without looking and flips reality on its face to bury its awaareness. I like how you began the refrain of "not in a poets dream". You should have repeated that more. It made the piece show how different a poet really thinks. ~ mikeee
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Love the title and the use of the title in the poem. A poets dream. It is totally appropriate to the feeling I got when reading this, a dreamy state and great imagery with the trees hanging from the sky, the water, rain coming up, pulling down the sun. I like it!
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Wow. A lot of poeple on my favorites list are posting this weird and real kind of every day moments kind of poems. And I think they're great because I get an idea of how you're like. I like that in this one I get to sit here and see how you view the world and the things that go on. I loved the image of trees growing from the sky and the rain coming up. That's such a great image that I think I'll be thinking about it for the rest of the night. You did a great job!
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This is very magickal...
The images are shocking
"So it is said that the rain came up from the earth,
To quench the tree's that hung from the sky"
...and that's just plain awesome.
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