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Mairi Queen of Scotts

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Mairi Queen of Scotts

My spirit drifts across the sea
released from a box in my hand.
A beautiful woman captured me;
a queen who rules the Scottish land.

Released from a box in my hand,
I followed my spirit,  ‘cross the ocean.
Her royal presence in command,
beauty in poetic motion.

A beautiful woman captured me,
by name of Mairi Queen of Scotts.
Spirits return from history
like a seaman’s line in looping knots.

A queen who rules the Scottish land,
has now returned and reigns on high.
The course of time has all been planned;
my spirit drifts across the sky.

 

 

 

 

Author notes

 Dedicated to AP poetess: Mairi bheag

 

Retourne:

Like so many other French forms, the retourne is all about repetition. It contains four quatrains (four-line stanzas), and each line has eight syllables. The trick is that the first stanza's second line must also be the second stanza's first line, the first stanza's third line is the third stanza's first, and the first stanza's fourth line is the fourth stanza's first. Retournes do not have to rhyme.

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Comments

1 - 23 of 23
  • Seeking Peace silver member
    August 21, 2007

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    This is a wonderful piece, I do love the form of this one, you capture the heart and the imagination so well.

    Thank you for taking the time to enter this contest, I wish you the best of luck

    Karen


  • micol
    August 9, 2007

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    There is a mystical, incantatory power in the repeated lines, one that goes beyond reason to touch emotion. And that was, apparently, precisely the effect Mary Stuart had on men -- the blessing and the bane of her life. The poem re-creates that sense nicely in tone and structure.

    And I much appreciate the spelling: "Mairi" and "Scotts." They set the piece firmly in the past, at a time when such romance (in the old, technical sense of the word, not the modern degeneration) was possible, which conventions did not yet exist to be broken.

    Nicely done.


  • Desire gold member
    August 3, 2007

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    Gorgeous!

    Now this is one Priceless piece penned for a priceless Gem and what a dedication I tell You
    Wonderful weaving of words in fine form which brings a HUGE smile to the face

    Loved this!!
    Best wishes to You in the contest
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • PoetsAngel
    August 2, 2007

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    Beautiful dear one, as you always do, again I am awed by your pen. Good luck in the contest


  • PerVirtuous
    August 2, 2007

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    I like how you took an idea and made it fit the picture. Very clever. I especially think this stanza is interesting:

    A beautiful woman captured me,
    by name of Mairi Queen of Scotts.
    Spirits return from history
    like a seaman’s line in looping knots.

    There is so much that can be interpreted from these words... very deep indeed.

    A wonderful tribute and an excellent poem. I give it...


    Three Bunnies!!


    • Amera gold member
      August 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you! Are you sure? Perhaps I created the idea from the picture.


  • RedAquarius
    August 2, 2007

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    I keep thinking of Maeve (or the various spellings) when I read this. Specially with that lovely picture. I liked that the first and last lines tied in together and covered both sky and sea, that was a lovely image to see - a spirit traveling on both.


  • sunny day
    August 2, 2007

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    This is such a wonderful dedication that you did for Mairi bheag and I'm sure she will love it. Retournes are lovely form poems and you even chose to rhyme it although the form doesn't call for it. I was amazed by the imagery as you captured the essence of the picture in this one perfectly and still you were able to dedicate it to another poet. I will not use your name as the host here asked for no response on comments. You are amazing and your pen oozes with golden ink. Thank you ever so much for always sharing in your beauty. Best wishes in the contest. Love you my friend, Joyce


  • capricornpoet
    August 2, 2007

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    I like this

    Smooth as a song and a mystery follows in this rhymeful
    poem , ; history of a famous lady seems calling and haunting//.weave of inspiration, loved this intrigue.


  • Griswold
    August 2, 2007

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    Beautiful write as usual dear. I love this form and you have done an excellent job with this picture. Best of luck to you...Scott


  • HaleyMary
    August 2, 2007

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    Beautiful, enchanting write. Wonderful imagery in this piece and great flow. I don't have a favorite part. The whole poem was beautifully written. Good luck in the contest.


  • captain howdy
    August 2, 2007

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    A beautiful poem that illustrates a beautiful picture. I love how well this reads. It is so pleasing to the ear!
    "A queen who rules the Scottish land,
    has now returned and reigns on high.
    The course of time has all been planned;
    my spirit drifts across the sky. "

    I love how it all comes so neatly to a close. A wonderful tribute! Best of luck in the contest!

  • Eusebius
    August 2, 2007

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    bravo

    Ah, so well and mostly ably done! A fine poem (and a marvelous photo.) I enjoyed this a great deal. bravo... bravo... bravo...


    • Amera gold member
      August 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the lovely comment and the applause.


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    August 2, 2007

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    Oh my! {speechless}

    I have to say that I love the way that this particular Retourne begins and ends with an almost identical line, but with a shift of one word.

    Thank you, Amera, for this somewhat undeserved tribute.


  • StarEyes
    August 2, 2007

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    And Miss Form Queen has done it again! WOW!!! What a great read this one is! I think you did an outstanding job on this one! And for it to be a dedication piece, that is amazing!!!!! I love it!! Best of luck to you in this contest!

    and mcuh love

    Nyetta

  • Mercury Rising
    August 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    A very well-crafted and wonderful tribute and dedication to an amazing poet.

    D.D.M.


  • Hetha gold member
    August 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really hope Mairi likes it, this was wonderful!


    • Amera gold member
      August 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      (Curtsy) thank you mi'lady Bloody Bess.

1 - 23 of 23