Two weeks;
two whole fucking weeks
of sitting on some spic beach,
watching tits and arses squeezed into two sizes
too small swim suits; baby elephants fighting
to get out of a bag.
Casting thoughts backwards it started bad,
twelve hour wait for some cupid stunt
to re-wind the elastic band on a Wright brothers replica.
The old cow shed waiting room, complete with cows,
had run out of vodka and all I could get was piss weak
Becks bier in £4 bottles.
The old bag was dressed in large floral print,
like Chelsea flower show on a winters day,
you could see the sludge running down her legs
following the well worn cellulite tracks.
I braved the toilets, had a hard-on
since the national bus had picked us up,
so many college girls in arse wiping skirts
and string panties that parted their clefts
In damp smiles, all ok until that fucking
Liverpudlian excuse for talking vomited out
of their mouths, and their shell-suited, incest bred,
Boyfriends wanted to introduce me to Stanley,
unless I emptied my wallet.
My sack now empty, slimy trails adorning
the “phone Mandy if you’re feeling randy”
business cards; I noted the number on my Burberry.
The flight was crazy, a strange pilot who called
himself Snoggo seemed to have a hostess buried in his
lap every hour, that self satisfied smile he wore
really fucked me off, so I said hello, farted as I walked away,
two day old beef curry wiped the smile away.
Our luxury accommodation; a tent outside the public toilets,
complete with used rubbers and rent boy sales.
(At least I didn’t have to fuck the wife)
Twenty quid buys a lot of rump in pauper town,
even their mothers flashed chocolate coloured cunts
for my discerning view. Even the wife secured a gang-bang.
We had barbecues on the beach, where me and friend
spit-roasted some fresh meat picked up that morning
at the all day, anyway, market.
Wish you were here
Your arse is better and you are about as pretty as the
Snot infested, flea ridden, pox encrusted locals
Anyway it’s about time your roughed it a bit.
Love and butt hole kisses
The travelling man
XXXX
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