The smoke from a glowing ember slowly fills the air.
She smells of beer and cigarettes but sadly doesn't
care.
Her hair upon shoulders in a frenzied disarray. Alone
with all her troubles, she's been like this for days.
Dark circles is the only make up she's worn since she
found out. Just last week so sure of herself, know she's
filled with doubt.
Opening up the bottle she takes another pill. Trying hard
to ease her pain, but pain is all she feels.
Phone was pulled out from the wall and lays upon the
floor. Scattered with old photographs she always
had adored.
It's 2 am and sleep won't come the silence too much to
bear. And so she'll sit another day on the bed that
they once shared.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Overall I liked this, but I want to know more of the story. It's a bit too vague for me to fully empathize with the suffering of the woman featured. I understand how much she’s suffering but not exactly what happened that she lost him. I always think it’s a good thing when you capture someone’s attention enough that they want to know more.
I did notice what I think is a typo, I believe you meant “now she’s filled with doubt.”
It’s a good poem as it stands and I’m glad that I checked it out. Patti
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