My stomach
plummets.
t
u
m
b
l
e
s
to the of my feet
bottom
the thought of you
sudden
and
violent
an explosion that catches me
mid-thought
mid-breath
mid-everything
all the shrapnel
flying.
and I am dazed
-frightened-
groping blindly in my feet
while the second round is fired.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This is a wonderful piece. The flow of the words giving the reader a total sense of falling along with the pace of the lines "mid-thought, mid-breath, mid-everything! Love it.
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indeed.
i find this easy to understand- maybe because i have had similar experiences, though probably not stemming from the same source.
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swooning. bruising. revealing.
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WOw, very nice!
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Interesting, it can be read in various ways, from the feeling of falling in love with someone, to the total destructive fear of someone else.
I like the way you have spaced the begingn of this piece giving the reader the feeling of falling to the bottom of you feet.
Very Well Written
ang
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