I lean against the concrete wall,
My heart is beating fast,
The gang comes running round the corner,
And I hide as they go past.
My hands are drenched in crimson,
The blood belongs not to me,
I place my palms upon the bark,
My hands are red upon the tree.
For I am a soldier of fortune,
My skills which they all know,
This last job was a big mistake,
I should have just said no.
And now I stand here bleeding,
I’m waiting for the end,
All of my close friends are now buried,
I lost my own best friend.
A contest entry
- For My Favorites And Group Members ONLY by Silvos..
925 points, ended January 24, 2008, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do you think this is about?
Comments
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Good visualization, lol but I was torn between the images of you being a soldier in battle or just running through the streets from an inner-city gang. Was this intentional?
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Great
I like the style / rhymes of this poem
also the way you word everything makes me visualize everything I couldnt look away untill i finished reading this
good writing
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Wow...
Weridly, like detached but intense. Idk what I mean by that, but...it's powerful, the message and the voice behind it. I think maybe you should find some contests to enter, edit the backgrounds...and more people'll comment. But I really like this...coolio! Lol.
Adrie
♥
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