Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

( warning disturbing picture)

She was running just as fast as her legs would carry her...
long flowing hair
chasing the wind.
The beauty and scent of
wild flowers and iris'
swirling...
escaping the black and white
world
to find a bright

and vibrant color.

This wasted imagination

in this beautiful paradise

a paradox...

jumbled juxtaposition

of mirror images...

backwards.

How can this be?

She's a victim of the motion

get the ball rolling...

a massacre...

She was running just as fast

as her legs would carry her

Screaming,

crying

emotionless

as blood ran down her face

her hands bloodied

...This is one twisted carnival game

clowns laughing in this nightmare

hands around her throat

breathing is not necessary

a sharp inhale

and wide eyes.

It was all a dream,

her feet hit the floor

and she never stopped running.

 

In a list

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 13 of 13
  • yieks! thank God that it was all just a dream. sounds more like a nightmare actually. you wrote this with very powerful imagery. and now i am suppose to sleep? viyanna rosemarie

  • TheRealTruth
    April 11
    Edit | Reply

    good

    I thought it was pretty fucking good


  • xMorphinex
    February 19

    Edit | Reply
    cliche? i think not. everything can be "cliche" if you look into it deep enough. This is nice. I like the image it portrays and the way you write. It's nice. Good job

  • AshliiAsphyxiation
    October 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hokay.
    first up
    the pic? its not disturbing.
    i can show u some if you want.

    & i find this overly cliched.
    like. to no end.
    its cliche.
    im sorry
    but im just being honnest.

    • mozarts funeral gold member
      October 20, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Perhaps you don't know the meaning of cliched. The picture was meant to add a thought, but if you read closer...and didn't get stuck on the picture you'd find much much more. The title however was suppose to be a play on words. I'm sorry you didn't get that.

      • AshliiAsphyxiation
        October 20, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        darling, you think i dont know the meaning of cliche?
        oh gosh, hun. i am cliche.
        my lifes the ultimate cliche.
        i know cliche when i see it.
        and im sorry.
        this is so cliche it hurts my eyes.

        mk?
        im gonna stop trying to be nice about this anymore.

  • Confused-Chic2931
    August 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    O My this is very strong and to the point I like how it just pulls you in and you can't stop reading until the end feeling it sends off.


  • Do.
    August 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Somehow understanding is never easy.
    This is a good write
    Hope you are okay.

  • Fairy Nutty Buddy silver member
    August 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Rosita Bonita, YOU ARE AWESOME! You write with such great imagery, you make it all come to life no matter what it is you are writing. Momma Bella


  • brightXdarkness
    August 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I came across your site. I know you know that I am reading this, and you have asked for anyone reading this to leave you a comment. The thing is that I just found myself here because I am feeling quite suicidal right now. I am sorry I can't comment right now, my mind isn't working that way.... I am sorry...

    Alex

  • Something Obscene
    August 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ...wow.
    This pretty much blew me away.

    She's a victim of the motion

    get the ball rolling...

    a massacre...

    She was running just as fast

    as her legs would carry her

    Screaming,

    crying

    emotionless


    Your word choice is unique. Very rarely do you see a "suicide" poem that isn't cliche beyond all reason. This is great.


    • mozarts funeral gold member
      August 11, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      If I'm going to write a *suicide* poem, I try very hard not use the cliched forms. I find that there are other ways of commiting suicide but you can still be alive and be dead. I hope to God that makes sense to you. Thank you for reading this!!!
1 - 13 of 13