i see her tremble fear grips my sleeve
her body torn and broken like a porcelian doll
i feel the seiring pain
weakend with each breath
vengeance grows and hatred seethes
burning me like an oiled torch
wet soft and stickey is the chamber
glowing with a crimson allure
sweat soaks my bedclothes as i wake skin screaming
and yet the music lives on
Author notes
this is option # 3 for the contest
hope you like this took me like a forever to figure out i hope it is what your looking dfor today has been a dark dark day for me ah well these things happen
oh and ihope you feel thats what this poem is be there feel
(and hopefully youll feel kindah sick or else youmight be a sadist ) just kiddin itall depends on if the imagery works for you
*shiftey eyes*
A contest entry
- THE BIGGEST OPTION CONTEST YOU WILL EVER SEE ][ im away for a whole week next week..so be kind and enter please..or ill hunt you down and stalk you][ by x-Black-Butterfly-x.
600 points, ended August 12, 2007, 41 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Im in awe.
Your descriptive poetry is so powerful... The elaboration itself, gave me a well painted mental picture of every word written. "her body torn and broken like a porcelian doll," stuck out the most for me; It's like I was hovering over the scene witnessing it first hand. Great Read!
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thank you thank you thank you
yeah i got an honourable mention on this one!! (i'm so proud) thank you very much. my poetry is not that much right now (to me at least) but i will never stop trying...
this one i was very satisfied with though... same can be said for most of my current ones.
again thank you i LOVE it when people comment me
~lostelvenchild
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wow this was just amazing and i loved it
it was dark and emotive and full of imagery
and i just loved this
well done -
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well thank you (to think so much inspiration from a book) or maybe it wasnt the book maybe i just have problems... well in either case it equaled an HONOURABLE MENTION!!! could anyone ask for anything more! To my first trophie!
Anyways... this was a very good contest so many people entered and there were many chances to win. i beg of you to have another one sometime... i'm glad you liked my poem i had doubts about winning anything (but these things always come as a surprise!)
THANK YOU!
~lostelvenchild
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great! i love it!
the darkness, the ...well its just amazing!
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