What did I do wrong?
Why wasn't I good enough?
Good enough to love
Why didn't you have time for me?
Why was everything always my fault?
Why did you lock me in the cupboard under the stairs?
You knew the darkness made me scared
You knew I'd cry, I was only five
But still I loved you
I just wasn't good enough for you to love me too
Why was I abused at twelve?
Why didn't anyone notice my pleas for help?
Oh God she's just a rebellious child
Why couldn't you understand I was screaming please help me inside?
Why was I used as a punch bag from eighteen to thirty?
Why did I love the people who hurt me?
Why do I feel dead inside?
What's my purpose in life?
Why am I here?
I'm asking God
why me?
Author notes
This was my life.
I could have let this destroy me
but instead it made me the person I am today
strong and determined full of love understanding
and respect for others. At the time I was questioning God, but I don't think he puts us through what we can't handle, even if at the time everything feel
helpless.
Option 3
A contest entry
- Tons of Titles!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
450 points, ended February 7, 2008, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me cry....options =] and PW allowed :D by LeilaJayne.
900 points, ended May 17, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I'm sorry you had to go through that. I know sorry isn't enough and besides it's not my fault, but there's nothing else I can say. I know how it feels though to be made to feel as if you're not good enough, had that plenty of times in my life I often come to believe it. Always here to talk if you need someone.
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*sigh*
I can see the pain & anger in this one. Not sure what else to say here. Very powerful.
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It doesn't have to be like that, things can change, you can change the cycle of abuse in whatever form it takes.
Love your friend
~sugar~
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Deeply Emotional
This piece cries out in pain and anguish. It is heartbreaking to read and deeply deeply emotional. A child goes through hell and remembers for the rest of her/his life. They dressed you how they wished, and abused you all the same. Talk to me Chelle. I am here for you.
Wayne
x
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it never was you
A child is born into a situation. She or he doesn't create it. God only gives what we can bear and you are bearing and moving along with or without it. Evil and henious behavior are pushed upon those at the most precious times and taken advantage of. You are loved even if you don't see it. Our society is based on so much physical love that spiritual and mental affection is left behind. We love U here and you haven't done anything other than being yourself. So know that. At least from me. Your friend ~ mikeeeeeee
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babe why are you not talking to me? you no better than this we have went through the same things michelle and i knew something was wrong because out of the clear blue something said go to michelle page and i stumble across this. we are two of the sweetes peas in the pot that has been dealed a harrible tragedy called look inside my life I am glad your acting out through your words ok but please calm down for me i know its stressful and you are pissed hell i am to shit see i just stop drinking two weeks hell i am sitting here now with a straight shot of gin because i am stress cant sleep no more than 4 damn hours a day because I am a fucken depressant and suppose to take my zoloft but dont to help me deal with shit but i feel its another way for us to deal with shit we all write very well and its for damn good reason i love you and if you need to throw some axes hell throw them our way even people in the group we love you
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Michelle
"What did I do wrong?"?
The answer is honey, you didn't do anything wrong, the wrong was done to you. Skirt a little too high? Why, they dressed you, didn't they? Allowed to romp around the house in your panties? Why, I'm sure that was ok with him. Making sure that you behaved in the bath? Why, I'm sure his intentions were pure...NOT! Taking pictures of you bending over, noting the swelling of your breasts as you grew older, dreaming of you, and finally taking you, and then later...blaming it on you, while mindless adult parrots chattered and didn't listen. What did you do wrong? Nothing.
Except I guess, to be born into a life of blind subservience, and blind obediouty, forever trapped 'neath the thumb.
But, it's not your fault, no it's not, for you are the victim of a victorian lifestyle, one that ignored the predators, and overlooked them.
All my love and hope for you,
Brazos
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