brilliant shafts of sunlight,
once shadowed by blackened thunderheads,
now burst through openings in emptied brokenness
streaking sky with gleaming, vertical hue
each beam,
each golden shard of flaming magnificence,
falls tenderly upon basking, fairest flesh below
with lingering blush,
and conjures flecks of melanin,
aroused,
like assemblies of browning worshipers,
enshrined in ivory temple
so that longing eyes,
nearly blinded
by the strength of sun's glorious brilliance,
can reverence heated memory
at each reflection
upon soft, speckled skin
and can remember. . .
having known passion
In a list
- Sensual • next in list
- 1-Golds • next in list
- Searchings • next in list
- 0-Personal Favorites • next in list
- 2-Silvers • next in list
A contest entry
- AP's FIRST COMBINED PIF (X3): YOU NEED THIS CONTEST IN YOUR LIFE! (1200 POINTS) by Everwind Rising.
1200 points, ended August 9, 2007, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-write Party 5 by DancingRed.
300 points, ended October 9, 2007, 29 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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what we might be means so much more when we share with another...skin is a cover but also a portal here to an inner self...so very well done...PK
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Oh wow!!! This is just such an incredible piece of expression. The depth of imagery is suberb; so vivid and completely unique. A beautifully penned write of thoughtful endearment. Excellent!!!
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great poem aww
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Superb wording with a masterful flow lending to the elegancy of tongue.
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Beautiful poem and may I say I understand why it got a gold trophy and it is well deserving of the poem of the day in the contest. You use amazing wording and your choice of words is stunning.
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Great write. I like the imagery that you have used, congrats on winning both Gold and Silver trophies. Thanks for sharing.
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the images are quite beautiful in this piece ... I like the slant on freckles:
"...can reverence heated memory
at each reflection
upon soft, speckled skin
and can remember. . .
having known passion"
thank you.
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Dear TTC's
Came back for a second look at this.
I actually loved the development, information-wise, you use to get us through the poem, and to the title, at the end, which, if the comments below are any judge, was why we did click on this, Freckles.
I like the title, and believe many poems could be written on this subject, myself harboring many freckles. But until they are written, I'm afraid you will have to settle for this being among the best!
John
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This is beautiful... I love your choice of words, especially in the lines below:
"and conjures flecks of melanin,
aroused,
like assemblies of browning worshipers,
enshrined in ivory temple"
Congrats on the well deserved trophies
- Jojo x sinnocence -
I'll have to link my fiance to this. He loves my freckles and to this day, I don't understand it.
You make them sound so pretty.
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Being a fellow freckled human beng I get a lick out of how when I try tanning the one thing getting the tan is my freckles and I'm still left white as fresh fallen snow. BUt I wouldnt trade em for the world. Makes me look more like m grandfather and that is something I'd never give up.
The poem itself is awesome, the flow and visualizations are great and the choice of words impeccable. Great write.
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well! having freckles myself, I can only say I loved it! I spent many self conscious years as a child until my Uncle said one day 'a face without freckles is like a sky without stars' Your poem reminds me of his words.
However in itself, the imagery is fantastic, a well deserved trophy
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This ain't bad! I'll try to remember to comment again on this, not feeling that great right now. Sorry.
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Beautiful and brilliant work
here my friend! Well done
and congratulations to you
on your two trophies! Keep
up the wonderful work here!
Jeremy0826 -
Absolutely gorgeous! What a passionate and beautiful write this is. I didn't want it to end...
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A wonderful flow.
Enjoyed these words. -
your flow was perfect
and your p[oem painted a picture with many images
beautifuly done
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WOW!!!
wow!i love this poem!its so amazing!i love the beggining!its so bueatiful how you put these words into a poem!you have my vote for one of the best poems on this site!thanx for listening to what i have to say!always do your best and never give up!
sincerely,
sweetdancer (yasmine) -
WOW!!!
wow!i love this poem!its so amazing!i love the beggining!its so bueatiful how you put these words into a poem!you have my vote for one of the best poems on this site!thanx for listening to what i have to say!always do your best and never give up!
sincerely,
sweetdancer (yasmine) -
Beautiful and well painted into thy words.
A well deserve win
VIRGOAN -
This is such a beautiful poem about that special someone. I love how it's so unique.
Thanks for entering.
DancingRed.
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Wonderful piece filled with vivid imagery and alliteration. Lovely form and flow and the phrasing is excellent. Loved this one and well deserving of the gold, congrats hun Bunny
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Beautiful piece! Love the vivid light and color scenes you paint. My favorite stanza is the third, and "reverence heated memory/at each reflection/upon soft,speckled skin". The comma after speckled doesn't seem necessary.
Great title, and the final line harks back to that lovely third stanza.
Congrats on the gold! most enjoyable read!
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Beautifully written. I love the flowing language and vivid imagery. Your use of alliteration is excellent as it your use of simile.
Adding your comment:
1 - 24 of 24
