I am the captain of the sunken ship
I am the seamstress of the gown that ripped
I am the owner of nowhere land
I am queen of castles made of sand
I am the castaway never found
I am the angel that touched the ground
I am the demon afraid of death
I am the girl with nothing left
Author notes
The picture just seemed so desolate, and i felt empty. and there was just so many things packed into that simple stare.
A contest entry
- Imagery! by Beating.
600 points, ended August 18, 2007, 26 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites Contest by wolfcub.
800 points, ended September 12, 2007, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Yeah great imagery, and a great idea for a poem. I liked the rhymes as well.
Thankyou for entering and good luck in my contest.
Katie -
Awesome imagery! (well... I guess that was the point in the contest. Congrats on the bronze!) My favorite line was "I am the seamstress of the gown that ripped"...It has many possible interpretations, yet isn't obscure (like some of Mme DePalma's poems )
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I love this. The continuity of the beginning words "I am the..." keeps the poem's structure, and the rhyming is excellent. I have to say I have just fallen in love with this little poem. Good luck in the contest. Hugs, Mom
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i loved the picture, it really did fit. i liked the poem, but im used to longer(hey, shorter ones can get to the point better than long ones), but ill try to critique as best as i can. i liked the whole feeling to it, that feeling of emptiness, solitude, and.. hmm... im trying to think of a word for it, but i cant, like...you have something thats only useful when you use it right, but otherwise it's just sad. i enjoyed reading this!
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It Gives The Feeling Of Emptiness Great Job I Love It C:
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Pretty good! i like it! the picture went along with the poem perfectly,and you identified her powerful expression excellently
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two thumbs up for you. Your style is unique with the "I am" starting each line. NICE Job! I'll send ya some more in a PM 
Nice job! You have my vote if I get one!
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Using anaphora's in poetry usually doesn't work out well in my opinion, but you did this one beautifully. I thought the different characters/types of people made it a lot more interesting than if you had stuck with one like most poetry does. Good write.
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It's so sad but yet pretty at the same time...the picture just added to the poem too.
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this was cool! and you can definitley see the deppth in her eyes and facial expression
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You're right. There are so many things packed into that simple stare. It's amazing how the simplest things can tell us so much. I love this. The repeated part would have been easy to wear down, but because of the rhyming, it makes it so epic. I like that!
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Wow this si a beautiful poem. Its so simple yet amazing and I love the image and it fits well.
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Wow. This is like gonna become one of my favorites. I really liked this. Can you say bookmark. It is so well written. Very nice. The pic adds to it all too.
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Amazing
This is a really awsome write dear, I think you are far more then these things though. Because to me you are a poet I love to read.
Cheryl
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OMG this is incredible. i love this. its simply brilliant u hold so much talent for some your age.
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Thanks!
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