Heliotrope of harsh dejection
Falling uneven in drops of red
Endoscopic tunnel to pain ahead
These pieces of darkness are all I have
All answers found in a monsters' voice
As decisions so limited by choice
Bridle lost hopes before rain decreases
And life turns into a different storm
Where words of intention are not warm
And shallow pools of hurt are fecal matter
Trade my cruel matrimony with living
For something a little more forgiving
Every new layer of scar tissue brings
Poisoned black flags to mimic harsh landings
Bloody gemstones to mock understandings
While pale faceless echoes push angst onward
A contest entry
- "Felt" poetry. ONLY by shirk.
1500 points, ended October 8, 2007, 110 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Such an intense darkness, compiled in creative thought. Brilliant lines outlining the purpose in which to fall... Excellent write!
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Finalist.
We'll see how that goes.
Thanks for the entry.
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Some of the meter is a little off, for instance:
"All answers found in a monsters' voice
As decisions so limited by choice"
And in places the rhyme is a little forced, but it's a heartfelt piece so it probably doesn't matter.
Best of luck in the contest
jess- x
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Ah, you noticed there was somewhat of a meter intended. I started to write in 10 syllable lines but then said, "I won't hold myself strict to it". lol
The place where I think rhyme might seem forced is with landings and understandings. Mainly because the line with landings is not really explained. Just something odd that popped into my head.
I thank you for reading.
Be Well
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excellent piece....
love the darkness to this piece...
each line captures the next, really holds the readers attention...
You really are starting to shine with talent....
goodluck in the contest...
go for gold
Tracey -
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Thank you that means a lot to me coming from you.
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Did someone say "Awesome"? Got to agree with that.
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Every new layer of scar tissue brings
Poisoned black flags to mimic harsh landings
Bloody gemstones to mock understandings
While pale faceless echoes push angst onward
aarrgh! Nice.Beautiful.Deep.
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First off, how nice am I to find this poem on ur page instead of wasting clicks on featured thingy
This is awesome, awesome imagery and brilliant phrases. You should change the text though...
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You always nice. hehe
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say it again
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You always nice. hehe
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Haha!
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Well Done
This write was very dark and vivid. "Trade my cruel matrimony with living
For something a little more forgiving"
That was my favorite line. Very creative and meaningful. I enjoyed it!
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Nicely done
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I think I love every category you pen but your dark writes are always so vivid and so full of images. great captivation. Love, Tracy. best of luck.
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ooo a dark poem
this was wonderful and full of imagery
it was so vivid and just dark
whoop
well done bro
best of luck
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Yep, you will beat mine for sure. LOL
Seriously, this is an awesome poem!! I love the emotion that you bring to me. I live in darkness, so I felt you right away!!
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