Horizons precede us a port hole direction
Formation or shape that the largest of mass,
Contained what is thought as a subtle collection
Of stars, mainly clusters..., no planet alas!
With landscape or, 'terra', demanding reprieve,
Forgetting what training we did on the moon
As ghostly confessors we need to believe,
The Meteoroid's coming, and coming quite soon.
The parallax now needs to offer assistance,
Accepting ones fate meeting hydrogen skies
Exploiting elliptic, pushing the distance
Where nitrogen feeds on the ample supplies.
Divine intervention concocts us at source,
Cellestial surveys far firm cosmic dust
Shooting it through is a changing of course
Creating auroras that simply combust.
Pliades is fondling the edge with suspicion
Refractive does light from a luna prelude,
Give this asterism the smallest transmission
That Draco's position is one we include.
Add this anti-matter to a photon's emmisions,
That this demolition, increasing in volume
Terrestrial spectres to syzygy fisions,
Calamitous regions those theories assume.
Author notes
Exploiting elliptic, pushed out to a distance
Where nitrogen feeds on the ample supplies.
A contest entry
- Round one of four by Fire Opal, grannyeri, jess09stevenson, x Empathic Rose x, and IndividualEleven. by IndividualEleven.
800 points, ended September 8, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
"With landscape or, 'terra', demanding reprieve,
Forgetting what training we did on the moon
As ghostly confessors we need to believe,
The Meteoroid's coming, and coming quite soon."
This stopped my heart wow what a beautiful entry what can I say.
well done and good luck
-
good
well written. I enjoyed reading it, and it kept my attention which is good.
-
impressive and very good use of rhymes combined with the word bank, I did see some areas where one could be left open to wonder, but I got the sense that overall, though very good piece, it didnt invoke thought, I didnt get that feeling ya know like, "hmm... never thought of that before" or "wow that sure hits all the questions that everyone goes through" in my opinion, great write though, lets see how the other judges like it.
-
i like the alliteration and the allusion in here. seems like a magical place to be, with reference to harry potter and mythology
-
Liked the alliteration in these lines and the way you have used the word bank list words in your poem. Good flow and rhythm and rhyme with some might unusual words. Pleiades needs an a I think.
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
