Dance this waltz of a forsaken old dream
remaining a fragrance in the sudden cascade,
and remain in the truths held in esteem
in our last attempt to continue this crusade.
Blindly dancing with fate at the stream
on this game of truth now turned extreme,
the midnight moon staying high as I
dance this waltz of a forsaken old dream.
The world around me just a constant parade,
coloring this last dawn in the haze of jade.
The flower that is I still finds a way to deny,
remaining a fragrance in the sudden cascade.
These days made of lies continuously scream
in this world of unison crafted in care to seem
like a rule that will continue beyond the night
and remain in the truths held in esteem.
My words have been woven beyond any trade
and my sins have long since been weighed.
Lies shall no longer taint the snow so white
in our last attempt to continue this crusade.
© Jay H.
August 1, 2007
Author notes
It seems that every time I try a new form, I end up screwing it up. Well, this definately isn't the best of work I can do with a piece, but it's not the worst either. *shrugs*
This is my first attempt to a poem in Glosa form. I like the form a lot when reading it, but it seems my mind can't write it to the best of my skills. I forgive myself because of the fact this is my very first time writing in this form, but there are definately ways for me to become better. So, I guess I'll just have to keep on working. Introduction to writing a Glosa poetry can be found from:
http://www.thepoetsgarret.com/autonomous.html#glosa
There are a lot of lies in this world; too much for my liking actually. We all need our little white lies time to time, but they will drown us eventually. I think we should get rid of at least half the lies out there in the world to make it a better place. But that, of course, is just my own thought.
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"Let your pen run free!" by SilverScent
I hope I did at least a little justice to this competition.
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A contest entry
- Let your pen run free! by silverscent.
450 points, ended August 5, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you think - be as bold as you can; I don't break.
Comments
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I liked this. The language was quite "colourful" and this intensity is good to depict the beauty told is this poem, however, sometimes less is more. The use of rhyme was good and smooth. Thanks for entering.
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I agree, sometimes less is more. I find it hard to write less, I'm afraid... lol
Thank you for your honest and kind words for this piece; they mean the world to me!
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