What a Grandson Heard
(or..."like Audie Murphy, talkin'.")
He was big as any mountain to a grandson's lovin' eyes
with a smile that seemed as wide, and bright, as Texas' summer skies,
and the stern side of this cowboy with the hard and calloused hands
made us walk the straight and narrow, and ride true and 'for the brand'.
But the side of him that stays with me, and still comes back at nights
with a memory, and a tear-drop (and not a few delights)
was the tales he told, come evenin' times when we'd be out an' walkin'
'cause his voice was just like Audie Murphy, talkin'.
Just that gentle, just that soft. Just that much like Down-Home Folk.
Just a simple southern gentleman...this ornery ol' cowpoke
who'd look life in its eye, nor ever let us slide with less
than everything inside us. He called out our very best.
I been around the ol' fence-line, and more than once or twice,
but I can't give you better than his quiet-spoke advice:
"You talk polite to strangers, and you needn't make a noise...
make sure everything you say speaks well of cowboys."
You talk of "ride like Randolph Scott," or "stand like Wyatt stood."
You mention those whose voice was loud for what was right and good.
I knew a man who stood as tall, who looked like John Wayne walkin'...
an' his voice was soft, like Audie Murphy, talkin'.
© 2002, eric lee
Author notes
Option 5, for my grandfather, who had more of the raising of me than my dad ever did.
This is a prewrite apparently not previously posted on AP. Those wishing to hear it read by the author may click this link. http://www.normpo.com/~Eric/audie.mp3
A contest entry
- LAST DAY ONLY - PREWRITES ALLOWED - REMEMBER ONE WINNER ONLY PER CATEGORY by G00dy2Shoes.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 28 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Guaranteed Comments! III by Nam.
1750 points, ended April 14, 159 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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"But the side of him that stays with me, and still comes back at nights"
I think that "nights" at the end would work better as "night", omitting the "s". It still holds to the rhyme.
"was the tales he told, come evenin' times when we'd be out an' walkin'"
"an' walkin'" doesn't even sound right in this dialect; of course, even in the South, we all have our own dialect (Texas is quite different Georgia etc.,), "a walkin'" sounds just fine.
I don't have any Audie Murphy movies on DVD, and frankly I don't remember ever watching one but I do have 10 John Wayne movies on DVD, and 5 Randolph Scott.
This was a good poem, I liked the feel of it.
-Nam
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This is one hell of a contest entry. I can hear the Texas accent! It has a really good flow. It kind of swaggers, almost like a gunfighter walking in an old movie. I don't know if that was intentional. Very good use of dialect. This could be the chorus to a country song. I'd vote for this. I'm impressed.
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I slipped it in because the last final days allowed prewrites...it wasn't written for the contest at all.
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funny thing about memeories... especially about family...
when first hear them.. we kids don't always pay atention to what's being said...but as we get older ..those things said and taught to us ...somehow stick and remain guilding us...until we pass them to the next generation.
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This is very lovely.I enjoyed it a lot.Great write.
~Tia~
GOD BLESS
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Great write. You paint a vivid picture of your grandfather here.
Congrats on your silver.
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I think I just listened to a voice like that, one that is soft and you want the tale to go on all night.
But yeah, I happen to know Grandpa said that if you want to be heard it is best to speak quietly even though he also said that you can't stop a man who is in the right and keeps on a'coming. What he wanted was to show when to be John Wayne and when to be Audie Murphy.
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All I know is, before he died he'd taught me nearly everything I know that's really worth knowing.
After he died, Vicki taught me the rest.
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