A placental nightmare, from her womb to your doom,
A genetic disaster,
Your nose always was to big for a mug shot,
it made you look peaky,
though the coke might have helped.
She was a juvenile,
Of catatonic proportions, full of
Lies.
Dragging you towards destruction.
A highbrowed cinderella with her
Crystal.
Breathing.
Aspirations.
She shot you up through her raspberry needle,
It matched your lipgloss you know,
Shame it smudged when she rubbed your face in her
Disfigured
American
Dreams.
The one thing she forgot teach you,
Was that,
from your place of power,
Living can be genocide.
Genocide for all the others,
Who cling to your breaking legacy.
Spare a thought for the child you used to be.
Author notes
juvenile
highbrow
cinderella
placenta
genetic
genocide
raspberry
needle
america
children and
disfigure were the words i chose, some have been used in different forms. This is also based on one of my favourite movies. "Thirteen"
Thankyou to Slaughter for the inspiration.
In a list
A contest entry
- highbrow cinderellas by slaughter.
300 points, ended August 27, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is absolutely STUNNING! I'm really not quite sure what else to say, I loved the entire thing so-so-SO much. Some beautiful imagery and lovely use of the wordbank. I'm so glad I found this
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one word..
..damn..
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Wow is all I can say. This is an extemely effective and strong poem. I love the way it is written, and what it becomes, especially with the last line. This is just an amazing poem to read, more of an experience.
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Ah, to nit pick on something perfect.
"nose always was to big for" and "The one thing she forgot teach you", I think you missed an o on the to, and while typing away, the "to" (my assumption) got lost.
I really really enjoyed this, this was really powerful, and some of the images you had in here were just whoa.
"She was a juvenile, Of catatonic proportions", "She shot you up through her raspberry needle" and this.. "Who cling to your breaking legacy.
Spare a thought for the child you used to be." when I read it, it's like an emotional slap in the face, in a good way. I haven't seen the movie you mentioned, but now I think I might, if it would inspire something such as this. This is really compelling, I just want to read it again and again and hope that I might understand fully your words. But I probably won't. Nice to read something of yours again.
Best of luck in the contest.
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