Just a scared little girl
Surviving in this messed up world
A world so full of lies
She closes her eyes
She's too weak to stand up
She's had more than enough
She tries to be strong
But it's been too long
She tries to smile
But it'll take a while
Before she's herself
She's going to need help
She opens her eyes
And does nothing but cry
She cries for hate, fear,
And the days she was here
How can she find her self stuck here again
When she hasn't been back since when?
She needs to go away
Not stay another day
When finally she makes it through
How much more could she actually do
Author notes
][OPTION 20- MY FAVS][
hmmm dont kno this person, but will glad to meet her
this is also ][OPTION 18-YOU][
SIMPLE...WRITE ABOUT YOU BUT MAKE IT BEAUTIFAL
mmmkk.. this write is from a long time ago and this is also a write about my dad.. im better now but still weak.. unfortunately...
these are also thoughts from a shattered soul whose suprised she didnt commit suicide..
Its hard to write about yourself, because you are the only one who can truely look in to your eyes and say I hate you, you are the only one that knows you that well..
A contest entry
- THE BIGGEST OPTION CONTEST YOU WILL EVER SEE ][ im away for a whole week next week..so be kind and enter please..or ill hunt you down and stalk you][ by x-Black-Butterfly-x.
600 points, ended August 12, 2007, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Self-Analysis by High-on-Death.
600 points, ended August 5, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Figure Drawing by Shahrazad.
525 points, ended August 10, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Actually the best part of the poem that was strongest and deepest to me was nothing in the poem itself but what you said in your authors notes, "Its hard to write about yourself, because you are the only one who can truely look in to your eyes and say I hate you, you are the only one that knows you that well." I think the poem was ok but if you somehow used the strength in the authors notes in your poem it would be much better. Thanks for entering the contest!
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thanks, you just gave me an idea, but i dont think i will use it in this poem right here
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This is great. I really liked it. The flow was nice and the rhyming was great. Great job babe. And good luck in the contest.
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awww lol
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thanks.. but i dont like the first two stanzas together becuase it seems that it jumps from one thing to another.. any idea how i could change that? i have edited a little but its not much..
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Well... how bout changing the second stanza to "A world so full of lies, She closes her eyes"? Then it would just blend to the first one.
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hmmm that gives me an idea
In a world so full of lies
She closes her eyes
... thanks -
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no problem
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yeah and as soon as i said that i decided that i didnt like that so i went with your idea..
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YAY! I feel special *smile*
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lol i wonder why
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Cause you used my lines of corse. You make me feel special babe. LOL.
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awww
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LOL
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An interesting self analysis, but beautifully written, nevertheless. It just kinda leaves me without words. Well done, and best of luck in your contests -
z
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thanks, is there any way you could help me edit this poem so that the first two stanzas dont seem to jump from one thing to another??
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darling ap daughter...i look at you and i see a wonderful shining personailty...but with many hidden secrets and doors. but do not hate yourself for i shall not let you fall or fade for you are special and a wonderful person and never forget that. i love you
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*smiles* thanks mum
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