A bed of fragranced roses
Red, white. And sedative candlelights
A cold breeze upon my bare skin
Curtains are dancing..
My heart is dancing..
I hear a thud every second by
My arteries exploding as he arrive
His warm skin, wrapping me inside
His breathe upon my stiffened neck
Nearly causes me a nerve wreck
His hips are clogged with mine
Sending chills upon my spine
His eyes devouring me
Shining, examining his prey
Manly hands exploring my curves
Countless fingers brushing through my hair
Every touch is done with care
My lips drawn to his' with all my skill
The void inside his mouth I fill
So lustful, filled so with desire
This whole night will burn with my fire
As his chest lay upon my breast
I hear his heart calling for this quest
We lay as one, a world of our own
The love we had, tonight is shown
This fiery pit of lust
Forever will last..
A contest entry
- Come on Baby Light My Fire! by OnyxtheForsaken.
700 points, ended August 8, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Seduce me by im dead - go away.
460 points, ended December 29, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Wow...
'His eyes devouring me
Shining, examining his prey
Many hands exploring my curves
COUNTLESS FINGERS BRUSHING THROUGH MY HAIR'
How beautiful!
Kisses, honey...all over!
Galaxy2
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nice write, I think you should have won something for this even though the contest was so long ago. There seemed to be alot of strong passion in this for very word I read seemed to get more and more powerfull
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Passion consumed
Oh how vivid the passion in your words, for lust unleashed for the wanting mind, body and soul. Let the pleasures of the flesh consumed in the unhinged lust for one's lover be tantamount to live everafter.
I like it, I like it so!
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WOW
wow this poem has so much lust behind it. Im usually not a fan of erotica, but this poem was nice. This poem really shows the "nice" side of sex....that's a horrible way to put it but oh well. I love how you really put your emotion behind it and the last two lines are amazing. I really think this poem is great.....its simply amazing.....keep up the good work!!!!! I love how you said "the curtains are dancing, my heart is dancing" its so........full of imagery. all in all, you did a good job. -
i really liked this poem
you have written great
thanks for the great poem-you really deserved it. A beautiful poem! I want to print this out and share with my peers. You cannot read this without being emotionally moved. It is heart warming and heart rendering at the same time. I love the title and the theme-you keep it clearly tied throughout the work. Keep up the good job! -
Wow. The whole time I was reading that I was seeing it as me and my lova and it just seems so right, like you know you really hit the basic emotions and feelings and experiences of making love, you know?
I loved the rhyme I think you did really well with it.
But I do think that it got a bit pressured towards the end and you had to fight too hard to get it to fit the scheme.
In any case i love this poem.
Supreme job!! -
wow brother whoever you are you are writing very good i love it, specially
The love we had, tonight is shown
This fiery pit of lust
Forever will last..
if this world had love like neverending love between everybody, how nice it would be -
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thanks, although from the poem it was easy to realize i wasnt a 'brother' but rather a female, haha.
Anyways, thanks alot for the beautiful comment, it brightened my day.
It is just in poems and movies that love is forever lasted but hoping is another part of living.
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My lips drawn to his' with all my skill
The void inside his mouth I fill
nice way to state the kiss my friend.
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Fantastic write! Very passionate and full of the intimacy that exists between two lovers. Good luck in the contest!
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