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~Unfinished Business~

it's the way your voice lingers on your every word
it's the way your fingers trace my every curve
it's the sunshine dancing in the clear summer sky
it's the reflection of the ocean in your crystal blue eyes

it's the cold chilly nights
it's how you hold me close
it's the dozens of reasons
that i just couldn't let you go

but reality clashed with fantasy
i didn't want to come to this, but i knew it had to be
i've set you free;
i've let you go
and in my heart, i'm still aching
but i'll never let it show

Author notes

not very good, but go easy on me.. i haven't written anything in over a year.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • moonlitmirror
    August 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I dont think it's bad, so stop claiming that its "not very good".

    Is this about who I think it might be about? You should let me know who it's about, so I know if I'm right or not.

    I really like the first stanza. This poem could be so many things, and what it ends up as isnt exactly what the first impression may be. How you start out with a feeling of love, and maybe of adoration, of appreciation and of beauty (the line about the eyes) completely contrasts the last stanza, which seems more personal and raw, full of angst, where the first one is full of memories and beauty, glimmers of the hope and good.

    The second stanza really seems to serve as a transition, especially the last line. It leaves a twinge of "uh oh..." to it.

    I'm glad you started writing again. I hope I get to see more from you on here soon!

    ~blessings~

    ~rora

  • this is love
    August 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    VERY NICE

    It's really.. What's the word.. Idk.. I really liked it. It's almost like stepping stones throughout the verses, from pure bliss, to the reality of sadness.


  • xPoisonxDollx
    July 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    not very good? not very good? this, my laura marie, is wonderful. absolutely wonderful. so much meaning in the words. it pulled at what's left of my heart.
    by the way, what is your email address? i miss you.
    hope to hear from you soon love. check out my new poem please!!! you are the only critic i trust.
    love you.
    amy michelle