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Patches of Yellow Grass






I think she wants to talk

about the browning trees along this road,

or of the patches of yellow grass

in each field we pass.

She begins to notice things out loud -

like the swampy bogs eructing

in rippling plumes of gas,

and the corpse of a house cat

crushed against a furrow on the edge of the road.

I want to avoid this conversation -

with her on the seat next to me,

I drive faster -

but we will not escape the words

she is compelled to speak:

of dying things, things already dead,

and us.


A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • poet girl
    August 29, 2007

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    Everyone sees the ugly and the bad things in life when they are unhappy where they are. Most of the time it is the unhappiness of being with someone. The freshness and beauty leaves and all that is left is the end, death.


  • Lute
    July 31, 2007

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    this is the best one of yours that I have read,

    I might make this suggestion on the last verse in the the interest of brevity:

    with her on the seat beside me
    i drive faster
    trying to outrun the words
    of dying things, things already dead,
    and us


  • Night Hope gold member
    July 31, 2007

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    Gorgeous, Scott. Congrats on the gold, my Friend. Wanda


  • Abscessed
    July 31, 2007

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    in the first part of the poem i feel like you are talking about a child. but by your closing lines i realise it is probably of a troubled lover.

    excellent poetry scott...always love reading you!


  • Peteskid gold member
    July 31, 2007
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    a place in someone's thoughts here; a wonderful view of an experience...PK


  • Hadji Murad
    July 31, 2007

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    This is achingly and tragically beautiful. It seems to have a nihilistic feel to it, especially the end which is raw and potent, definitely dropping the reader nicely. The hollow, morbid images in this poem are beautiful, especially the second stanza, I like the development and how it breaks away into a third person perspective, observation of the world, that, combined with the first person perspective really gives a completion to this poem. I love it. Excellent job and best of luck. Though, I doubt you will need it, Melissa seems to have loved your poem.


  • Anfractuous
    July 31, 2007

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    Wow...a scary thought, but it happens to all. Still, I liked the way you put that fear into this poem, and the feeling. Well done.

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    July 31, 2007

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    So stark, sad really. Death. I hate death. I just wrote one myself the othe day, it just hurts doesn't it.

    In all forms of the idea, relationships as well. You are quite the genius.


  • Annalise
    July 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I should know better than to enter a contest that you have already graced with your presence.


  • EvilKate
    July 31, 2007

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    Fantastic conclusion! I kept wondering how it all tied together and then - you waved those magic hands - and it all did.

    In Awe.

1 - 10 of 10