Splitting deep
the trunks of you
fire leaps
toward soul's escape
and lemon lollipops
lap about
in playful meander
amber breezes
stir your marvelous mixture
spilling out
that heated sweetness
upon the drying ground
below
here,
where I have always been
tingling toes,
entwining flaming honeysuckle
around my legs,
burning spine
and licking neck
with tongues
of thickest nectar
filling me
with wafts of hunger
'til winds
begin to stay
their shift
bringing winter's
bitter cold
Author notes
-ten thousand cicadas-
In a list
A contest entry
- Quickie! - Collab / / Phrase Prompt by Ryno.
800 points, ended September 2, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Autum!!! by love-laugh-live.
600 points, ended October 3, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "Felt" poetry. ONLY by shirk.
1500 points, ended October 8, 2007, 110 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I like this a lot.
Welcome to the finalists list.
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oh!!! I like the style.... it was very refreshing to read! Thanks so much for your entry!!! Good luck!!!
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This had somewhat of a cresendo to it, it marched it's way toward the end and crashed in perfect formation... leaving a pleasant lulling feeling at the end.... beautiful pristine piece of writing here
Karen
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wonderful ending, truly...
a great build towards that closing throughout the poem... great imagery... pangs exposed with a kind of delicate wording
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EXCELLENT!!!!
"tingling toes,
entwining flaming honeysuckle
around my legs,
burning spine
and licking neck
with tongues
of thickest nectar"
I absolutely love it!!! Beautiful words!
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Wonderful. Beautiful imagery. You've eared a spot on my favorites, that's for sure. Excellent write. Keep evolving!
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Nice job.. the images were well done and beautiful at points. But I dont think you quite hit the emotional point, but then again the topic of the poem isn't meant for that really... sorry, just brainstorming out loud... the changing of seasons topic is sort of cliche but some of your imagery was pretty original. I liked this piece quite a bit. Thanks for the entry.
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Good work!!!
What a work about the change of seasons as this poem demonstrated! You can get a good feeling out of this. Brilliantly orchstrated through your pen! THANKS!!
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Such a wonderful landscape you paint here...as summer passes to Autumn, so we are lulled into the quite time before Winter...I smelt the honeysuckle and felt the gentle breeze gathering momentum. Excellent poem
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Oh what an exquisite masterpiece you have created here.
Beautiful write! You are certainly one of the very best on this site
Gaylene
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Wow,
Such a wonderful creation here my friend,
love the descriptive lingo,
and the words just roll of the tongue~
Thanks for sharing, and keep on penning on~
May you be blessed in all seasons,
your friend and fan, Timothy~ xo
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