Among the teeming swarms,
The living cage, glistening pink trails
The lungs, the sieve of coal particles
Dark parking lots, seclusion, paranoia,
A female clergy caste with its own miters
Disease, resignation,
Big Gulp full of pennies
Steam, salt, pigeon crap
Strain the eyes, relax the smile
That you'll never need,
Don't look over the cell wall
To greet your neighbor
Live only within your off-white or earth tone cell
Bombarded with McGiants eating McFish or McCow,
Humongous poster side of too-salty McFries
Choke on your McShake, your McCoke,
Perform the Heimlich as if you knew how,
Then let everyone applaud you
And be graciously modest but not really
Listen to schoolchildren sing in the square,
Their voices competing with fire truck sirens
Among the teeming swarms,
The matrix of asses slowly going wide and soft
Shake out your umbrella, forget that there was ever a time
When you just let yourself get drenched,
When you defied the heavens with laughter
And danced in the cold sparkling rain
Live out slow suicide painfully, please,
And have a nice day.
Author notes
Written September 4th, 2003
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Ooooh...wow. That was wonderful!! You're right..sometimes the city really is like suicide, so dark and cold, so unfeeling *shudders* It just depends on where you go I guess. Okay...I forgot what I was gonna say...I really just...forgot. So...lol, yea. I liked the poem though, I could see a lil movie playing in my head when I read it so that was cool..and kinda strange actually.
I'll have to get that fixed someday...
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inner city-innershitty life, walled compounds that add up to paranoia and seclusion....wnidows shaded, blinds pulled so as not to see the night blocked by another days emissions emitted, stars are but a memory here, the lights of artificial blot them out...babies wails as cigarettes burn.....drunks stagger into alley to grafitti the walls with reconstituted scotch....it's a predator world ruled by the strong and the meek cower behind dead bolts...lest they bolt and be dead...good stuff urban....sounds like your living it....been there shunned that...peace to you and yours...Artis
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I enjoyed this somewhat. It was missing a bit of a flow though..I mean...it was missing some of that poetic aspect and at points the words just didn't fit. But the view you put about society is correct and I overall did enjoy this but I'd have to agree with AbortMe, The McDonald's reference was misused, all those Mc___ just were too much and didn't seem to fit with the rest of the poem. But all just my opinion. Keep on writing my friend!But overall great piece!
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You paint a grotesque picture. It was an enjoyable read, although I felt the McDonald's reference was a bit over used. Nice job.
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I agree with gozling, reminder of how lazy our soceity is, although fat I would disagree with. It is becoming it yes, but not solely from the fast food industry.
Flows well, but the reader pauses to think every so often. Well done.
*hugs*
lynn xXx
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absolutely awsome
reminds me of how fat and lazy our society has become!!wanting the fast food fix...
whatever happend to a nice sit down dinner? -
Oh wow, as I read this I thought. This man needs to get out of the city. I live in a small town, after living in the city myself. Funny how gradually my introspection has changed with my move. This is powerful on the edge writing. I love it!
I rearanged my stanza's a bit on my poem, thanks for the idea.
Red
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