I remember days we laughed,
when I showed up with prose and a rose,
with flowery poetry and poems about flowers,
I remember those days and long for them,
I sit here and life is full of dead dreams and dead hopes,
I write poetry about death, life's poetry falls on deaf ears.
I remember when I heard you were untrue,
I was so trusting of you (of life) then,
I can't trust you anymore, can't trust myself.
So I sit here listening to praise of our love,
People think they see some "verdant vision of together",
but all I have are faded memories and dead roses.
Author notes
Hey, I can still do emo! Knew it was only a matter of time. Denial seems over, grief is always short, it is only a matter of time before I can be properly outraged and PO'd. Anyway, this is partly because people keep leaving these gorgeously sweet comments on love poetry and I wanted to write about some of that.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Pretty good. I don't like though that the title gives away then ending. I suggest you change it to "I remember" or something like that. Also, lose the quotation marks, they disturb the flow and the irony of them is well marked by the last line. All in all, a good job.
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Wonderful work.
Hi That is a really good poem you have used here. and i loved the words you have used. It's a short poem but really sad to read and the person reading it feels it. I no what it feels like to lose someone close to you and no that u can't have it the way your use to. but time goes on and hurt's like that heal up and someone else will take that place. and the person who takes that place won't let u down like the first one. The background to it was good but i think u could have used a sadder one to make the words a bit more powerful. Good jod of the poem none the less keep it up thanks for the read
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dead roses is good, keep it up
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I'm sorry if this did happen to you, it sucks when someone doesn't treat you right and cheats on you. I love the way you are 'remembering' the good, then telling us why it isn't good anymore. I do feel for you.
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This is a really good write. It's short but you bring the emotion out of it quickly. I really like the blunt metaphoric ending. Great job!
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This was a good piece. It flowed very well. There was a lot of emotion in this write.
Well done and keep up the good work. -
I like the comparison between the dead roses and the dead dreams, dead hopes...even though most memories never die, as you state - they just fade a little.
One always longs for the good times, the good memories - but without the bad times/memories, how would we recognize and appreciate the good times/memories.
Read well. I liked the feel of this.
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Beautiful piece D! Even your "emo" poems still have this underlining need for acceptance and peace. I think we all have that deep inside of us - so refreshing to see it laid before me in such an elequent manner. Loved the way you switched up the word usage - verging on art. Fine piece of writing!
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good job portraying this piece, i enjoyed it much while reading it. i feel that i could express my pain. good job i could realte, i loved this piece and i may read more, it just depends my mood.
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