Deploy my soul into the black abyss of hell.
Let my heart be devoured, lest I feel this pain.
Why has my love been so cruelly severed from me,
To cease its bloom like lilies devoured by the floods?
Oh, curse you stars for your tragic desires!
Damn the fates that estrange me these nights.
May the gods that leave me in darkness perish,
That they may be as far as my pharoah is from me.
Let the tomb be sealed with me still lingering inside.
To no longer see the desert sunrise is my one true desire.
I could die with my thoughts and memoirs of love about me.
His throan not to be desecrated by another, not half as sacred.
Oh, Anubis, take me too, that I may pay for my curses!
To walk and dine and lie next to my daughters and my king.
And my body may lay next to that of my beloved,
To enter into the afterlife, together...
But you deny me death and spite me with life.
To marry another and destroy my love.
What pattern of stars have the destinies revealed,
That I be punished so harshly, without a grain of mercy?
Isis, giver of life, restore life to these glazed eyes,
Or smite me in flames, whichever so suit you.
That I may forever gaze into the eyes of my lord...
My life, and my love...
Author notes
This is written in the style of Shakespeare's plays. A monologue for Ankhesenamon. Please tell me critically what you thinnk, yet with knowledge of both Shakespeare and Egyptain history.
For those NOT versed in ancient Egyptian history, Ankhesenamon was the young wife Of Tutankhamun who died at age 18. History has it that they were very much in love. King Tutankhamun had a disorder which made him clumsy and awkward, causing him to fall to his death. Fall...or be pushed? Being only 9 when he took the throne, his advisor had nearly as much power as he, which he was understandably reluctant to give up when Tut became of age. When Tut died, Ankhesnamon was engaged to the advisor, her grandfather. Naturally, she was not all together pleased with this idea and offered herself to a foreign prince. However, on his way to Egypt, the foreign prince was "consumed by the elements." Ankhesnamon was forced to marry her grandfather who died shortly after. She and Tut had had two baby girls, one was miscarried, the other died shortly after birth. It can be assumed this was due to the fact that te royal couple were half-siblings.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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nice poem, Good luck in the contest
De-thronedd -
All I can say is.. WOW! I totally loved this! I enjoyed reading every sentence of this poem.
You wrote it so well. I love Egypt, its history & I've always been interested in Ankhesenamon. Although my favourite Egyptian couple from history is actually Nefertari & Ramses (I wrote a poem about them.. so if you're interested check it out! I'm really curious what you would think of it!).
An excellent write from Ankh's point of view, it couldn't have been written any better by anyone else but you. It's one of the best poems I've seen so far on AP. Congrats!
Please keep it up! I hope you will write more on the subject of Egypt!
I especially love this part:
"Isis, giver of life, restore life to these glazed eyes,
Or smite me in flames, whichever so suit you.
That I may forever gaze into the eyes of my lord...
My life, and my love... "
Isis is one of my favourite Egyptian goddesses (besides Ma'at) & I was glad to see her name was included!
Blessings,
~Moonchild
P.S. I see you're a SW fanatic.. so am I!
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that is an amazing piece of history that you gave to us in your author notes... ia m not knowledgable about the shakespearean stuff but really enjoyed the read... it had an immense power behind it... well done on this one and thanks for the entry into my contest... it is why i joined AP... very thought provoking... i wish you well
cheers
Jen
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Very well written. I like the emotion in this poem; you didn't really display it as much as...feel it. Very nicely done. I also love how you incorporated events and beliefs of the time period, as well.
Keep Quilling,
Whiskey -
I love this. I absolutely love egyptain history. In fact I love all history. You did a great job in putting what you felt her thoughts might have been if only she was able to voice them. Great job.
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INCREDABLE!
This was truly just breathtakingly beautiful!
I adore your style, very deep without being too complex
this is true talent I must say....
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wow this is really good. Of course I don't know much about shakespeare, I mean, I like his work, but I'm not 'educated' in it.
What I can say though is that the imagery was really powerful "To cease its bloom like lilies devoured by the floods?" and you made the speaker sound desperate even in my head, like she'd give anything ...
The references to egyptian artifacts and gods sets the scene whilst not going over the top and seeming forced.
"The tomb" I pictured as a pyramid before really even knowing what the poem was about (before reading your notes).
I can't think of anything else to say, I know this isn't much of a critique but I can't find anything to complain about about here.
xxx
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Thank you soooooo much for your kind words and applause!
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this is my most favorite of all your work.
awsome awsome job!!! -
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Oooooooh, thanks!
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Very Shakespearean, however I am not as educated in the Egyptian aspect so I cannot critique that. You write beyond your years, keep it up!
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I really enjoyed it and it reminded me of Shakespeare right in the first stanza, so amazing job with that! A successful imitation. And I enjoyed the Egyptian topic too. For a while when I was younger I went through an egyptian craze.
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Thanks; I'm really glad my peace had the desired effect.
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