Sometimes I think the Earth has spun enough;
This place should freeze, the time should stop.
The Moon, forever shining be,
Your heart, forever, just for me.
Sometimes I think that days go by too fast;
They should slow down, and things should last.
A feeling gone, forever be
Another feeling just for me.
Sometimes I think the sun has shined too much;
The night should start, the Moon should watch.
The sky, forever starry be,
Its light, forever, just for me.
Sometimes I think the Earth has spun enough;
This place should freeze, the time should stop...
Author notes
Yes, I know the correct past tense of "shine" is "shane", and the past participle is "shone". But it sounds better this way. Plus, I read that this form is accepted as well.
Written at night, in moonlight...
A contest entry
- dark, strange, love poems wanted here!!! by Just waiting.
300 points, ended August 22, 2007, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PRE-WRITES GALLORE ~!~!~! by Naridill.
800 points, ended January 31, 2008, 138 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - POETRY MONTH! by WesBreezyxxx.
300 points, ended April 21, 2008, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1705 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Let me know your opinion
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Beautifully phrased. I feel the title and first line matching is too repetitive but worded beautifully.
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great work
nice piece!! i enjoyed it very much. thank you for entering my contest and good luck. -
very good nice touch of yourself it to a geanra of poems that has gone stale grammer is a easy target but poetry shouldn't be about that is should the voice of your muse so i say good write i will read more of your works one day
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Great Writing, Wonderful Topic
Wow, simply amazing. The structure, the words, the way you design, the meaning between each line, is simply amazing.
It fills my head with sugarcane, the way you have put this together. The title attracted me firstly because its very interesting and it is also very true. Sometimes i wish i had been the person to write something like but i do not envy you, i admire you so much. please keep on writing. Well done. -
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Thank you, nunchaks. Your comment made me feel so happy...I am glad that talented poets here appreciate my work.
I can see what you mean...I've read some poems around here that made me feel the same way:"I wish I would've written this...", but the thought of people thinking this way about my poetry is just...amazing
Thank you so much, again!
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Ooo this is excellent, I really liked it and I agree with your point entirely. Really great write x take care x
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very mysterious indeed. I loved the title, makes you think.
Love D.L. -
Wow I like this a lot.Great Job.
~Tia~
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I like it!!!! Its so mysterious!!!! And I love the natuarilty of it... and I think its fine the way it is...shane, would sound wierd!!!!!!
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EXCELLENT!!!
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Hey there!! Thank you both for your comment and for not forgetting me...
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Wow Lil Sis! Dang Chick,
when you write, you REALLY
write! And to think you've only
written 56 poems... crazy yo!
This(like ALL your poems)
is absoluely supercly done!
It made me think(scientificly).
If the world stop spinning,
time itself would be no more.
We've have to move to a different
planet or just drift in space because
we have no where else to go...
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Aww, thank you!
Actually, the Earth-stopping thing, I used it as a metaphor. Or, at least this is how I think of it now. LOL
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