Gold grapes trapped within your mouth,
sweet smells of childhood summer
on your fingers.
The narrow place between market benches.
Scents in the air...
With eyes closed I can see
spots of sweat on your t-shirt,
in the basket
onions between spices
tied with white strings,
five tomatoes, garlic, dill,
parsley and thyme...
carrots, only two.
In the pot, chicken soup.
Two of us
connected like Lady and the Tramp
with
the
same
soft
noodle
before our lips touch.
Just a dream...
Depression hard, dense and hot
like dark summer clouds
entered the windows
in the middle of the afternoon.
Between my fingers mashed potatoes,
my revenge on innocent vegetables.
I miss you.
Feelings like the sacred oil on water,
never fading never ending always growing,
like grape-clusters on the golden grape-vine
at the entrance to my sanctuary.
Author notes
This is an anonymous contest - do not mention my name in your comments. Thank you.
Segue
1. to continue at once with the next musical section or composition (often used as a musical direction).
2. to perform in the manner of the preceding section (used as a musical direction).
3. to make a transition from one thing to another smoothly and without interruption: The conversation segued from travel anecdotes to food.
–noun
4. an uninterrupted transition made between one musical section or composition and another.
5. any smooth, uninterrupted transition from one thing to another.
Based on the Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, page 1291
and
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.
In a list
A contest entry
- THE BEST DAMN POETRY CONTEST EVER by Jaden.
1500 points, ended August 18, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites that dont suck. by parachute fog.
400 points, ended October 20, 2007, 93 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Segue by Danna Hobart.
375 points, ended September 30, 2007, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Sure hope he is coming to eat with you for this meal!
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thy words flow from the heart as love touches like honey through this!
beautiful write my friend!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
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I like how this piece doesn't have a rigid form per-se, however it does not disturb the flow in the slightest. There are lots of thoughts and images to contend with in this piece, but it is written in a way that they don't clash, they all compliment each other beautifully.
Good write and congrats on gold.
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Thank you very much for such a nice comment. I am glad that you like this style because it is coming from my heart.
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This reminds me of a poem I read once by Maya Angelou. The only suggestion I have would be to remove the mention of Lady and the Tramp and use the allusion by itself, because I think it is strong enough to stand on its own. Everyone who reads it and knows the movie will get that image anyway, and those who don't know the movie aren't going to get that image anyway. Just a thought. Thanks so much for entering.
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Thank you for so nice and honest comment dear Danna. I appreciate it very much as well as your kind suggestion.
~Sonja~
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Really enjoyed the middle of the poem and the, Lady and the Tramp connection, very cute. You have a very enjoyable voice. A pleasure dear poet.
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Thank you MJ. It was interesting that you pointed to the part of this poem very dear and very personal. You have a good eye for poetry.
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Good entry. Thank you.
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Love it!
This is so descriptive and full of metaphor, very different and I love the tiering of the words, yet sad too. Excellent!
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This poem feels real and arrives to the reader with the senses fully drawn upon. Not to mention there is a lot of love under every stanza. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with the contest.
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Awesome write...both heartwarming and sensual...
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I really liked it, I liked how you fit it all in together yet it was about different things all at once, Brilliant. Really.
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hi there,
This is a beautiful piece with nice imagery. Wish you luck in the contest.
Shahrzad
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The detail in this piece is stunning...what beautiful imagery...definately dreamlike..the difference between dream and awake imagery changes the mood so much...like awake shifting to a nightmare, of love not being there...sad, but a wonderful piece...
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