When the moon rises up and above
Amidst the clouds and takes its place,
A drop of tear, from eyelids gaze.
As music twines and moves with the breeze,
A distant tune from somewhere is heard ~
Must be the flute of a shepherd.....
When birds are safe at nests for rest,
There's not a chirp nor a cry
And Silence rules the July's sky.
Then to the little heart, comes an ache ~
A regret yelling from somewhere deep,
Singing tears, cradles to sleep.
~~~
It was then, I saw them clad
In Fantasy's robe, all white and grand;
Dreams of solace, take their flight
With smiles from hope, dazzling bright;
The world is calm and all is fine
When music, with the breeze would twine..
Free as a bird, higher they fly
To seek the moon in the July's sky !
A contest entry
- The Beat'le do it by Legend.
1000 points, ended August 7, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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I love moons so I stopped by to read a poem. Have not read on for awhile. Love the picture. The words flow so very well with it.It swept me away into the words. I could see and feel what was happening.I love the ending it made me smile.Very well done. I love reading about moons. It took me away from the stress of the world. It left me relaxed. This is very good.
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Another masterpiece from you. It is laced with such delicate beauty from start to finish. Simply beautiful and I just love your title and picture. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Shaz xx
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awsome poem it touch me really u r a good writer keep it up
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I enjoyed this! Open to interpretation...but I found I could connect with your words.
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Nice write here. Liked the line "The world is calm and all is fine". Would that this were so. I enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing this one.
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I much prefer the second poem. Sweet. Particularly in the first poem, be careful of your use of commas You don't need to follow ''from'' with a comma, nor tune, nor heart. In the second poem, there is an unnecessary comma after ''I''. Also, is an article necessary with a month? July would have done fine. Please don''t think me harsh... I am trying to help...and particularly enjoyed your second poem.
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raspberry you always provide my contests with such beautiful poetry.This one weaves such mystical images in the mind when reading.I need not tell you how much i enjoy reading your work as it has been said on so many occasions Thank you for entering Good luck in the contest
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Thank you very much Legend. I feel much honored to read your comments I did see the moon, as exactly as its on this picture, a couple of night before.. I felt, it was as if rising up.. n up, so sure of showing itself inspite of the clouds trying to surround it.. And that was a night, when I was especially looking for the moon
Thanks for the contest Legend..
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Great take on your chosen prompt. Vivid expressions kept me reading the poem with an even flow. Well done. Many blessings to you in life and the contest.
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A WONDERFUL POEM
very well written the imagery if great and the rhyme and flow are perfect thank you for sharing this and good luck in this contest -
Beautiful
Very nice write here I loved it
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Nice poem. A couple of technical things: I think you don't need the apostrophe "s" (July's) "July' Sky" would perhaps be better and I'm not absolutely certain of the necessity of the apostrophe even with such a change. Third line ( A drop of tear from, eyelids gaze.) should surely read "A drop of tear from eyelid's gaze." Hope you don't mind the suggestions.
Thanks for sharing this.
Donald
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