Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Nuclear Kiss

In the grass
    we’re holding hands,
Above us, a nuclear winter’s kiss
    is blooming.
I wet my lips.

This love will not be
    my last song.
All along, the world’s been burning,
and now we’re learning,
    It’s too soon to see it end.

Every day we’re a little colder,
    while we’re freezing,
the world still smolders,
    our skin falling off like rose petals
as the days grow longer.

This love will not be
    my last song.
All along, the world’s been burning,
and now we’re learning,
    It’s too soon to see it end.

Author notes

Good stuff.

A contest entry

Explain your thoughts:

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • ParadoxicalMetaphor
    June 12, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    i love how you tell a story with this. it's not about being in love. it's about letting go. that's what i think anyway. i think you have some great potential here. looking forward to reading more!


  • Midnite-Rae
    June 12, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    great imagery. I liked how it kinda of sounded like a song. You did a great job with this.
    Keep it up.

  • aniqua
    June 12, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Your poem has an interesting. It has a song-like rhthym to it even though it doesnt follow a specific form. I like that you have repeated the stanza... it adds to the music of it... I love the imagery in the line, "our skin falling off like rose petals." Beautiful!

  • amberbrownie
    June 12, 2009
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    this poem is really good and very thoughtful it really shows that you open your heart for this poem


  • chanie
    June 12, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    wow, i like this poem.. well written.. keep up the good work.

  • The Rainbows Mind
    June 12, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Indeed it is good stuff. You should be proud of this poem.
    It does a fantastic job of incorporating not only love, weather, bits of rhyme, and other clever poetic device. It also does a great job at showing the unique contrast patern.
    Someone growing cold in this ever so heated world
    but "This love will not
    be my last song.
    Great poem, good luck in the contest, and thanks for entering.
    BC.

1 - 6 of 6