Life and nature
hold hands.
A child who does
not know of death
still hangs onto life.
The vulture who knows
of death does not have
the instincts for life.
Yet they both hold on
together in the role
they play in nature.
This is God's strings
working to make the world
go round.
Beautiful as it may seem
neither the child or the
vulture has to die.
But in the final end
they both give their
life up to death.
This is life coming full
circle.
Precious as it is they
both play their roles
well.
Till the end.
A contest entry
- Everything's Ducky by WolfHeart.
600 points, ended January 8, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I am sorry, but this entry is too long to qualify for this contest. Each entry is to be no longer than fifteen lines and this is over that limit. Thank you for entering though. Storm
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Profound and a true interpretation of all forms of life and all the roles they play...It touched my heart...
All the best!
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I see beauty and sadness in this write. You state it is the circle of life, yet you add beauty with God's strings, beautiful and precious. Strange how you could take such a picture and nature itself which I find sad as far as animals eating other animals (though I eat meat, so don't even ask why I would feel bad for them - very hypocritcal of me!), and create a beautiful poem from it all. Well done and best of luck in this contest.
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A really interesting, original look at the image. I think the 2nd and 3rd stanzas are my favourites, I love the contrast, but I like all of it... Although the whole 'circle of life' thing has been done before, you haven't looked at it in a clichéd way at all, and it's really beautiful and thought-provoking.
I think "niether the child or the vulture" should be "nEIther the child or the vulture". Also, I think "in the final end" sounds a little odd, I'm not sure you need "final" there. But that's just me and my weird opinions.
I really like the simple language you use when discussing something so complex and deep, it gives the poem a feeling of childlike innocence. Keep up the great work and best of luck in the contest!
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This poem seems almost primal and animalistic. The images you evoked were very literal, but they worked. The beauty you saw seems to be the very system of nature itself.
I was most intrigued this line:
"This is God's strings
working to make the world
go round."
This interpretation ties despair to divinity and seems to put the many kinds of life on this planet on an even playing field, all orchestrated by a higher power.
I do believe there is beauty in this interpretation, and so I bid you good luck.
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Very good.
Good luck in contest
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