Why does it seem as if the body doesn’t want to live?
As the sweet heart tries to shift its mind
For within the dimness of night’s very thoughts
She continues to think such stillness and serinity
As sometimes my thoughts becomes restless
Thinking of love and the concept of complex life
As the trees curl within night’s bedtime stories
And the grass quickly slumber as my thoughts are awakened
Oh the love that swings in that of the park of my heart
Where my thoughts push it gently upon dreamy breeze
Gently swinging within the peaceful thought of you
Swinging upon a night of memories upon memories
Was like no other day as nature it wanted to swing too…
Listening to the tales of our fantasied love
As your eyes I try to find a comparison to something extraordinary
As your eyes became as famaliar to the appearance of a rock
in that it is still precious being held as a weapon and heavy
in that when pierce into my eye I felt that of a hit
The old hair of winter wipes grief against my skin
It tries to keep me warm with the thin sheets of it
Yet there is no one to push my heart again
For I can not push it alone as the absent of you only stills the seat
Could place sad notes upon my years that follows
Why does love contain such immense jewel power?
Why can’t the spell be undone to gain back your heart again?
Why can’t love be more beautiful then what it seems?
Why can’t love be perfect like heaven’s spouse…
Why does it seem as if the body doesn’t want to live?
As the sweet heart tries to shift its mind
For within the dimness of night’s very thoughts
She continues to think such stillness and serinity
As sometimes my thoughts becomes restless
Thinking of love and the concept of complex life
As the trees curl within night’s bedtime stories
And the grass quickly slumber as my thoughts are awakened
The midnight of you...
In a list
A contest entry
- Dark Poetry by Aeonna.
1090 points, ended March 6, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Paint Words Into My Head by Velvet Rose Petals.
1000 points, ended June 14, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
Beautiful. Absolutely stunning. thank you for entering. My favourite stanza
Oh the love that swings in that of the park of my heart
Where my thoughts push it gently upon dreamy breeze
Gently swinging within the peaceful thought of you
Swinging upon a night of memories upon memories
Was like no other day as nature it wanted to swing too…
you are talented. Keep the ink flowing.
Rose...
-
This is very good. I really like it. best of luck.
Crimson -
"As the trees curl within night’s bedtime stories
And the grass quickly slumber as my thoughts are awakened"
Oh I love those lines! This piece is very well written, and I truly enjoyed it. The imagery is really good, and I love how you used the title in the end. Love it! -
Wow the use of As was overdone and the mispelled words confused me but other then that it was a great write thank you for your entry! good luck in the contest!
-
First, I like this piece, you can tell I am going to say that about all of your pieces. But, in this piece, you use As way too many times, and when one reads it furthermore, it gets a little bit confusing due to the fact you have misspelled so many words. Besides of that, the thought and the construction of the piece is immaculate. Keep up the great work and thank you for sharing
-
Oh the love that swings in that of the park of my heart
Where my thoughts push it gently upon dreamy breeze
Gently swinging within the peaceful thought of you
Swinging upon a night of memories upon memories
Was like no other day as nature it wanted to swing too…
Girl you need to use this as a profession. You have some true talent and I think you could go far. Keep Writing!!!
-
a nice piece, well written and thought out
thanks for entering
good luck to you and keep on writing
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
