A divine lily wilting;
rosy Eden, a past world
soothing cold raindrops fall thickly
as if attempting to heal my wounds
a wide-eyed beauty,
an honest purity
sinful poison eyes
stare snakelike, at his naked victim
false apple promises
bleeding on damp conviction
defeated tears falling like fate;
naive dreams insignificant
a divine lily wilting;
rosy Eden, lost
A contest entry
- The POW ~* ~* ~* by Arkbear.
500 points, ended July 29, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~ SET the BAR ~ Anything Goes~ Possible of 5750 points handed out! by Florida Sunshine.
950 points, ended February 24, 2008, 182 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - RAPE by InMyFlames.
300 points, ended January 22, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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im not entirely sure what this have to do with rape, maybe im just reading it wrong feel free to enlighten me
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I've read this twice ~
This is good ~ I rather enjoyed the write~ the imagery just pops right off the page... I liked the interesting little things you did that some might not notice~ you leave the reader wanting more ~ the more I read it the more I see~ I'm not sure if it's intentional ~ or ~ accidental ~ either case I enjoyed it~ Nice job
Thanks for entering the "Set the Bar" contest ~ good luck to you
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I'm Sorry, this poem does not have a honorable trophy therefore it must be removed. Feel free to enter another poem that meets the requirements.
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Not Bad ~
You topic is well chosen ~
This is not really a *Sit & Ponder* write, yet it is very good ~
I will hit you on the CAPS at the start of each line though....not necessary ~
Nice imagery as well ~
I hope to see your talents in the POM,
Poem of the Month, beginning tomorrow!
Bear ~ -
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Thank you for your honest critique! I have changed a few things because I'm not sure I got my point across well (I have done that in the past). If you have any more criticism, I will gladly change it because this is the first poem I've written in a while that I've really liked.
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