I wanna be doused,
In your tears,
I don't care,
If they smear,
As long as their yours,
And as long as your here,
I'd rather be wet than dry,
As long as the soakage,
Comes from you,
My Skye.
Author notes
u always hav a shoulder to cry on.
A contest entry
- Frozen Tears && Distant Dreams by Number 13.
700 points, ended August 2, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love by Madison Mary.
650 points, ended September 10, 2007, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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I like this. I think the rhyming and the way it flows is perfect. i'm usually not one to just praise. I really like it.
oh i just saw this post that you asked poepl to read your poem. so i thought i'd pop in. Hi i'm Leah.
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heya!
sweeeeet!!!!!!
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wow... if only a guy felt that way about me... oh wait... a guy does... nvm... but yh... loved it sugar... and it was just as sweet.... keep it up!!!Bravo!!!!!!!!! woo hoo!!!!
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awwww thats really sweet. that has character and really makes ya think about stuff. well done =]
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I loved this, it was beautiful and moving. wow
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well i really liked this poem, heartfelt but amusing at the same time... you seem like a really nice guy.
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thnx..im only new to this tho..and ill let u to decide if im nice..lol..
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Enuf with the soakage... I loved it and it means alot to me to know that you wud let me soak you with my tears... and i know you dont like to see me cry... but i'm glad ur always gonna be there for me... and yes... i am lucky to have him... even if we arent exactly dating... but one day my dear sweet Shaun... on day maybe we will be dating... I love you... and thanks...
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soakage IS a word..lol..u know..like on a sponge..
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OMG!
you are sweet major! ok, is it your significant other because she is lucky! great job kiddo!
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nice
I must say, nice poem. I agree with the soakage feedback. Otherwise a great poem. well worded.
Keep it goin!
Creatress -
Really, though, it does make a difference--"soakage" I mean. If you are going to be creative with words, create a pattern of them throughout the poem so readers know that you are in control, not the language. With the strong colloquialism in the first stanza, "soakage" sounds stiff, like it is trying to impress.
You show a nice ear for rhythm and closely repeated rhyme in the first stanza...then it breaks up in the second. There is humor in the first few lines that sounds honest throughout.
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Short, sweet...
not sure if "soakage" is a word, but HEY, it's poetry! It doesn't matter either way.
Just remember to use apostrophies (you know "don't", "I'd", and so fourth).
I could imagine this being a song. -
Nice
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nice this was fantastic it totally caught me off guard its very powerful the words you've used give it such strength
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Beautifully written :]
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