Despite the loss of magic
in my kingdom by the sea
I do not find it tragic
some wishes are never to be.
Imagery is in the mind,
so dream with me a fairyland.
Leave real life far behind
on the shores of sunset’s sand.
With imagination’s joy
our fantasies are just as sweet.
No mortal here can destroy
things that have never been concrete.
Author notes
by: trista
Written in the same rhyme scheme and in response to the poem. Not sure about the meter, but I tried. (Syllable count should be exactly the same though) The poem by Thomas Hood reminded me of the daydreams I had when I was very young...unfortunately, life never seems to turn out the way you think it will even when your dreams come true. In that light, fantasies are great because nothing can go wrong. lol
Inspired by "A Lake And A Fairy Boat" by Thomas Hood
http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/8814-Thomas-Hood-A-Lake-And-A-Fairy-Boat
A Lake And A Fairy Boat
by Thomas Hood
A lake and a fairy boat
To sail in the moonlight clear, -
And merrily we would float
From the dragons that watch us here!
Thy gown should be snow-white silk
And strings of oriental pearls,
Like gossamers dipped in milk,
Should twine with thy raven curls!
Red rubies should deck thy hands,
And diamonds should be thy dower -
But fairies have broke their wands,
And wishing has lost its power!
A contest entry
- The Random Rounds - Round 5 by Frodofan.
480 points, ended August 4, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Lions Have Pride!!
Wonderfully woven Sweet Pea
Love the way You presented this and did a fine job from the prompt given
sorry it took me sometime~
I was going backwards through notes and like
Great job here!
Many blessings to You
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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LIONS HAVE PRIDE!!
This is a beautiful poem with all the imagery. I can just image being right there at that place. You made this write descriptive, imaginative and beautiful. Splendid piece of poetry.
~Snappy Doodles~
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LIONS HAVE PRIDE!
A beautiful write. Very good flow, rhyme and tone. Lovely depth of feeling. Good word choice. Nice rhythm. Nice alliteration and assonance. Well crafted and a much enjoyed read.
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LIONS HAVE PRIDE!!!!!!!
Absolutly beautiful, very visually stimulating, sounds like a place I would want to visit and possibly never leave.
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LIONS HAVE PRIDE!!!!
Hi Trista
This is a real relaxing poem, and I like it.
Some things are definitely better than magic, no kidding. This would be one of them. You put it in perfect wording.
Imagery is in the mind,
so dream with me a fairyland.
Leave real life far behind
on the shores of sunset’s sand.
Not only is imagery in your mind, but you set the imagery in mine also
"Leave real life far behind on the shores of sunset's sand." I loved that part!!!
It sounds real neat and I think it's so pretty. I can see it all now.
I loved this one, seriously. It's really relaxing, pretty, and the imagery is perfect!
Kudos
's and 's from your AP Daughter
Sincerely,
~Poetrydove~ -
LIONS HAVE PRIDE!!!
What a great read this one is! I think you did an amazing job on it! The last two verses are my favorite. Almost magic themselves! Great job on this one!!!
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LIONS HAVE PRIDE!
Love your final two lines most, this is a lovely rhythm-ed piece. Well done.
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Better than Magic by trista
Title - 8
Style - 8
Form - 9
Spelling - 10
Captivating - 9
Originality - 8
Reaction - 8
Rules - 10
Makes sense -8
Enjoyable - 8
Total- 86
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Better than Magic by trista
Title - 9
Style - 8
Form - 8
Spelling - 10
Captivating - 7
Originality - 8
Reaction - 7
Rules - 10
Makes sense -8
Enjoyable - 7
total- 82 -
score
Title - 7
Style - 9
Form - 8
Spelling - 10
Captivating - 10
Originality - 9
Reaction - 8
Rules - 10*
Makes sense - 10
Enjoyable - 8
Response Bonus - Yes - 5
Rhyme Scheme Bonus - Yes - 5
Meter Bonus - No - 0
Total: 99 -
I feel as if I wandered to a place of daydreams and fairyland
lovely whisical write, love the meaning in the ending, it gives the poem power
good luck in this contest
much love,
Michelle
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"No mortal here can destroy
things that have never been concrete."
It's probably odd, but when I read those last lines, I remembered what you told me some day ago.
That he would never be able to take one thing from me and that's the happiness that I once had.
Yea, I'm weird like that.
I liked this peice, when I saw the contest .. I was more wondering what you were going to do since the poem wasn't of the type I'd normally reply to or even feel the need to reply to.
All the best
NeveR ♥
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Nicely done. And I enjoyed your notes. Fantasies are great that way.
Thanks for entering. -
WoW I think you have out done your self with this piece.
I can almost feel the magic.
Makes me wish I was there,
I could leave real life behind for a bit.
This is really a very enjoyable read.
Loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
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