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one last chance

it’s cold out here, yet the fire looks warm
painful, hungry feelings envelope me
for  I’m left outside, in this raging storm
one last chance, hear my cry; hear my plea

painful , hungry feelings envelope me
for through your window, I see what I lost
one last chance, hear my cry; hear my plea
I’ve wandered astray at a terrible cost

for through your window, I see what I lost
knowing the cure is behind your locked door
I’ve wandered astray at a terrible cost
please give back to me our love from before

knowing the cure is behind your locked door
I see the warm hearth and the embers aglow
please give back to me our love from before
I’ve changed my ways, I want you to know

I see the warm hearth and the embers aglow
so unlock your soul and give back your heart
I’ve changed my ways, I want you to know
I’m totally yours for just a new start

so unlock your soul and give back your heart
for I’m left outside, in this raging storm
I’m totally yours for just a new start
it’s cold out here and yet the fire looks warm

 

 

 

Author notes

Pantoum

The Pantoum is a simple form yet more difficult to compose than the sestina. It is far more repetitive, for its defining rules are ABAB stanzas of four lines each, and the second and fourth lines of one stanza become the first and third of the next. It can be any number of stanzas long, but the ending line must be the same as the first. The result is a poem that takes two steps forward and one step back the entire way through, finally ending on the same note it started.

Required Prewritten poem is a Spenserian sonnet:


Morning Bouquet


Palace walls caressed by a beam of light,
touching my face as it beckons my eyes.
I have slumbered in silk throughout the night
and now, thoughts of my love beg me to rise.
I’m wearing a smile, as one may surmise.
Looking my best in a stunning array
of long flowing silk as blue as the skies.
I must look my best for my love today.
Finding my love in the trellised array,
amidst the roses and the palace walls.
My love gave to me, a gorgeous bouquet.
A garden of love, with trickling falls.
She gives me peace with all she can render,
my love is the garden; in roy'l splendor.

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • Heart Sutra
    August 17, 2007

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    I respect both the form and the amount of time you spent on something so complex. The second poem is equally as powerful both for form and content. Well done! I respect this a great deal. Thank you for sharing it with the contest.


  • Swan song gold member
    August 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I don't know which poem to compliment here. I can't tell you which one is best. I can tell you they are
    two flowers in a meadow each with a distinct and wonderful beauty


  • Faeryn
    August 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow. this is just amazing. the power in this poem does not cease. Love the last line in stanza 1.


    • Amera gold member
      August 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Tay, I love your comments. My poems don't seem finished until you sign them. I love you!

      Love,
      Amera ♥


  • ellipsist
    August 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    what a beautiful and saddening

    expression of longing... I like this form.. especially powerful at the beginning and end...


  • soulfultia gold member
    July 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent!! I love this form, have done two or three myself, not much hair left in me head when I finish one...ha! Loved it ~Tia


  • blueyez
    July 31, 2007

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    I love Pantoums and this was so beautiful. I felt her longing as I read the words!


  • sunny day
    July 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo!!! Bravo!!! Bravo!!!

    Encore my dear friend, this is magnificent. You just pen form after form with such ease and amaze me to no end. Such beauty and elegance my eyes did behold in this piece. Warmth and love are the emotions that fill me as I write this for you. The imagery was fantastic and it flowed effortlessly. I just have this feeling of Calgon take me away right now. LOL You are most definitely a queen of form poetry and I bow to you humbly as I leave you with my applause and best wishes for the contest. Keep it flowing because this one sounds golden to me. Love you my friend, Joyce


  • roses on fire
    July 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is beautiful! it's heart warming and heart breaking!
    great job i love it!
    phree buniies and a hug!


  • Desire gold member
    July 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Holy Moly!!

    Gorgeous Form...Gorgeous verse spoken from the Heart
    and what more could one ask for...
    Wait..Your Autograph

    Loved this Pantoum

    Got to capture it on film
    Woooooooooo hoooooooooooooo

    Many blessings to You in the contest
    Best wishes too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • PerVirtuous
    July 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You are a bard. You are a talented poetess. It is so evident here that you understand every aspect of this poetry. Congratulations. You have penned something very special once again. When you top it, how am I going to top this comment? You make it hard for me. It's OK. I'll survive.


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    July 29, 2007

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    This breaks the heart and causes a tear to loose its place...It flows like a song smooth and slow yet filled with pain of a deep lose You are a wonderful poetessThank you so much for sharing


  • PoetsAngel
    July 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Beautifully Sad

    I've been here, I've stood on the outside looking in at what I previously, carelessly threw away...was one of the hardest times of my life...I had to ask for forgiveness before being allowed back in by the fire. this piece will haunt me, but in a good way, it will stand as a reminder of how precious my life, husband and children are


  • HaleyMary
    July 29, 2007

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    Beautiful write. This piece made me think of a person asking another for a second chance at love. To be given a chance to make right the wrong decisions they made in the past. Good luck in the contest.


  • RedAquarius
    July 29, 2007

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    What feelings of pleading and remorse I got from this! I almost see someone on their knees in front of a closed door, crying this to their lost love on the other side. An excellent representation of the pantoum as well (though, of course, the day you write a less than perfect form, I will fall in a faint.). Good luck in your contest!


  • poetryality silver member
    July 29, 2007

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    I stay away from the Pantoum because one has to be a clever enough writer to make the repeated words stray from redundancy. You executed this work with an expert pen. I love the lyrical feeling I get after reading the first time. Then after the second read I feel the emotions of remorse, and pleading. A very astute work here poet. I wish you well in the challenge.


    Much Love ♥

    Renee


  • grannyeri gold member
    July 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    VERY IMPRESSIVE- these are not that easy to write, and you have really pulled it off here - liked the flow, the rhythm and rhyme and the message you share in these lines.


  • FallingTwilight
    July 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. The emotion and imagery is amazing. The repetition works so well for this piece. Best of luck in the contest!

    FallenPoeticAngel

1 - 18 of 18