No one is watching
The expression of feeling
As she falls alone
From today to tomorrow
Since yesterday and before
The deceasing hope
Can't escape the darkened grasp
Of all that won't be
Of each mistake and failure
And of all that never was
Author notes
Double Tanka
A contest entry
- Poetry Styles Contest by Visit.Me.On.Mars.
700 points, ended January 11, 57 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
Falling from yesterday to tomorrow
is an extremely vivid image.
The terseness of the poem saves it
from being just a bitch.
-
cool poem, the words were profound and overall it was creative. thank you for entering my contest and good luck
-
No its quite alright
Tanka is the sort of poetry that made me want to see different styles of poetry and so far ive only seen a few Tanka pieces and i really enjoyed this one its deep and meaningful
well done and the best of luck
----Janette -
Wow I'm impressed with this depression! People don't fear failure... They fear success! Failure, depression, hopelessness are familiar to us we wear them like a comfortable old shoe. Sucess is very scary because it' accompanied by feelings we're not used
-
Profound!!
So deep and well-spoken! My highest compliments on your style. This really grabbed my mind and twisted! You've got a fan!
-
-
thank you
-
-
its been a while since i've been on here, but you seem to have grown as a writer and i am jealous of your trophies =]
so this one: it was short and yet conceals much pain behind the strong cover.
~WU
-
-
haha thanks :]
-
-
There is a deep sadness to this. Her afterthoughts of regret. Thanks for entering.
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
