Be it in the deepest valleys between-
craven carved eclectic escarpments,
in the diary of a wishful teen, imaginary,
or in the hearts of man- Freedom.
Home is where you lie your head.
In the waters rush and tumble, breaking
tides foment, riding topside floating, or
in the darkest ebon days when malice walks
its slothful ways and evil lie within the mind.
Home is where you lie your head.
Ink bleeds from an amorous quill, who spilt for most
and will spill for you, a nympho used to fill
your zeal, upon a page and raise your truth, held
high for all both far and nigh to listen and read.
Home is where you lie your head.
In idyllic pastors lush, alive- abating sun falls
into night, mournful moon paints blacks and whites,
gleeful sprites play amidst their flight, bovine sleep
and so does man, the moon is out to ease the land.
Home is where you lie your head.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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gleeful sprites play amidst their flight, bovine sleep
and so does man, the moon is out to ease the land.
Home is where you lie your head.
well you have taken a different but truly an amazing take on the subject..I love the way you described the issue..it is just wonderful..thanks for the beautiful entry in my contest...
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Thank you for your kind words.
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The third stanza, now thats art, haha. I liked all of it, but I love the internal rhyme of the whole "quills and spills" thing in that stanza really stood out to me. Its a pretty poem.
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Thanks, its very appreciated, thats my favorite one too if that says anything.
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Your very rich vocabulary and it's impeccable placement, as well as you use of assonance, consonance, and alliteration, not to mention the highly stimulating thematic content, all combine to make this just a fantastic poem. You write an extremely tight style of free verse that I'd love to learn how to pull off myself, though I'm afraid my few feeble attempts at free verse lack the intensity and internal torque of your wonderful work. Best of luck in the contest with this excellent piece.
David Michaels
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I didn't know you were a gold member now? When did you decide to do that?
Anyway--I really like this piece tho it's different from your usual style. It actually kind of (at least the first part does) reminds me of Neap Tides. So it's not that far off. I thought this was easy to understand and a connectable piece, altho it's definitely not as flashy as your usual stuff (people really seem to like your flashy vocabulary--call me wrong). Good write, Seanny. Hope you do well in the contest.
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Eh....
This one was okay...it's not really your style though. Like the greek-based vocabulary. A good poem. -
Very very good, I'm trying to think of more I can say but I really can't.
Loss for words.
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