hold the moon of this flower
in both your hands
that from its leaves in the night
when you’re without sleep
fragrances embrace your skin
and inhabit your fingers
with a quiet togetherness
that our hands
in sadness and
separation
beneath scents of moon-
flower sleep within
each other
tonight
Author notes
Don't know if this is great, but it was quick!
Prompt: A Circle's Touch
In a list
A contest entry
- Soulful quickie...10x50x30 by kaibab.
475 points, ended July 29, 2007, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Very Lovely
Simply fulfilling in a way that I cannot describe but I love the sharing aspect of this work. I find this tender work in its entirety somehow finds replete. I am in awe once again as…the long night has taken me in…I Love this quiet tenderly penned work. Nicolette this piece seems to be painted ever so slowly. My heartfelt thank you for being you. I enjoyed this one very much indeed.
Lady E
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thank you so very much, Lady E - you are always so generous with your comments, dear friend
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The personification and the metaphor in this piece is brilliant! I like the imagery as if it embraces ones soul.
Well done and congratulations my friend
VIRGOAN
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dang ~
Wow ~ An excellent one for sure ~
Simple and with a beautiful flow. As always stunning ~
Oh my, I am getting addicted ~
Your writes are like creamy caffeine ~
Cant start the day without it ~
Wonderful job as usual ~
And I won't tire of saying that ~
Bless ~
--Asfand
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I like this. You always have a very soft way of saying things that I love. I think the last stanza is the most expressive, but I like all of this. The image in the first two lines is very delicate.
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Excellent title and beautiful poetry...in motion
Wonderful flow and you capture once again, imagery like few do. Beautifully penned ~tia
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very good
the title got me, moonflower
imaginary but very beautiful
each has their own vision of one
endless love, togetherness, passion, scented beauty, etc
don't necessary get the sad thing bit
an exceptional piece -
Beautiful poetry my friend, you always manage a way to steal a couple sighs from me....
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Actually, I am a fan of moons you hold during de-flowering. That's my idea of "quiet togetherness" that occurs when you are fortunate enough to "sleep within each other tonight"; well, maybe not quiet, but at least togetherness, right? Nonetheless, any moonflower that you get to hold while enjoying nightime fragrances is going to be evocative to me, and well worthy of a poem as deeply beautiful and sensual as this. Well, provided the fragrance isn't coming from the mooning itself. Those "scents of moon-flower" probably should best be avoided. But that's a different issue, and one not germane to this lovely poem.
Seriously, it's a delight to come back and read your gorgeous craft Nicolette. The fact that I understand this was written quickly only serves to underscore your talent. Beautiful work here, and richly deserving of the trophy I see it received.
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Moonflower looks like it will absorb the light and then will send it again to illuminate your words. It looks like you gave it this light and life with tender palm touch.
~Sonja~
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Seems to me you're doing great with these kind of quickies Definately love this poem!
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You truly write the most beautiful poetry.
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"our hands
in sadness and
separation
beneath scents of moon-"
Elegant & hauntingly beautiful, Nic. Congrats on your trophy, my Sister. Love you & your infinite music, Woman. Vlindertjie
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this is very thought inducing.
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I don't know how you think so fast LOL. Wow!! This is beautiful girl. Congrats on yet another trophy this weekend. I tried to enter a few quickies but I must stress myself out because I always draw a blank
. Well done!
~Lyrical
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Thanks, Lyrical. LOL, I actually hate these quickies...they totally stress me out!
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our hands of sadness sleep alone
but in the moonlight the flowers and scents sleep sleep together
aaeewwwhhh, how can I sooo relate
mmmmmhhhhh gooodd
thanks for making my heart smile and teary eyed again
your so good darlin'
all is well in the neighborhood
Tamar
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This is so beautiful, I love the imagery, I love the magic of the flower in this poem, closing the circle of separation.... congrats!
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Thanks, Tara...that was exactly what I wanted to say with this quickie poem (lol, they are so hard to do). You have a fine poetic eye, my friend
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the moon is like a reflecting pool held within our hands
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Stunning!
So soft, tender, touching, breathtaking, beautiful, soulfil, lovely...there are so many words that could be used to describe this piece, but I believe STUNNING would suit it best. Best of luck to you!
Blessings
Bel
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wow..it doesn't show..lol..
you do a quickie like nobody's business!
Excellent!
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Thanks, Kathleen...lol, not one of my best - these quickies are quite a challenge!!
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lovely and rich metaphor
certainly soulful...
this piece contains such divine imagery!
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Soulful welling of deepest ache
minds my eyes to blur in tasting
this river's drifting wetter season
as soul to awe in bank's so passing.
wonderful poetry SA dream
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Touching...
It was Great!
As usual, your rhythm and flow are excellent,
and the message is clear...
"so that our hands
in sadness and separation
beneath scents of moon-
flower sleep within
each other tonight"
...Sighhh.
beautiful Scribe! ~ Nicholas ~
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Prompt: A Circle's Touch...
I want some great writes...so i am not making anyone wait for the prompt
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