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Tiny Dreams

They have surrounded me,
And lifted me to the wind:
These fireflies

They are tiny dreams,
Swarming in on the innocent sleep
Catching me in a moment's lucidity

They are shaking the leaves
That have caked in around
My cold and squirming brain

These fireflies have shown me a hill
And thrust me beneath it:
And its cliffs are madness

I run from the swarming light
I am hugged by the darkness

And, from the heights, a voice laughs my retreat.

Author notes

Not inspired by the pic :-)

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think, honest though::

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Comments


  • Licinius6790Archias silver member
    November 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Ah, my friend, once more, your ever flowing pen, provides a picturesque scene. Obviously, we share a love of storms. Again, well done.


  • crisstiena gold member
    August 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very well done on winning the gold. So many lovely images here..

    They are tiny dreams,
    Swarming in on the innocent sleep AND -

    I run from the swarming light
    I am hugged by the darkness

    But I am still consoled by the poem’s assurance (in my mind) that our lights are not merely fireflies, fleeting victims flickering quickly out of existence, but will go on - that though lives end, life goes on. There are moments at which truisms are nothing less than true.

    best wishes
    ♦ ~ crisstiena


  • RedAquarius gold member
    August 4, 2007

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    I like that this was not necessarily a 'happy' poem inspired by fireflies. I get a bit of madness, more like will'o'wisps leading/sending someone into darkness (as you said - hugged by it - love that). One eensy thing, you might want to add "at" in the final line between 'laughs' and 'my'. Otherwise, I enjoyed this - the at-odds imagery really worked. Good luck in the contest.


    • Alexander Hine
      August 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I don't want to add an 'at' because that would change the fell of the sentence too much. Making it seem too much like direct mocking, this is supposed to be a kind of mocking/celebrating/just-plain-laughing. I can't think of the proper analogy.
      I think I'm going to change 'passage' though, just because my mind is biological today and I can't help but take it in a gory sense.

      Thanks so much for the gold!

      K. F.