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'Hearts on Fire'

Missing image
Seething with the self inflicted pain of my fiery desires
I divulge myself in my own-formed kismet
Knowing that within my own mind
Absolution will never be given lightly

Defiantly, I stand strong in my convictions
Realizing that invocation will come at a price
A wager I cannot afford nor wish to displace
Without the knowledge of your gallantry

Fear and desperation leave their own tastes
And once more my palate is strewn with flavours
Ones that only those who have encountered before me
Will understand the reluctance to swallow with ease

Patiently, I will wait for the moment of your tender touch
And on the fleeting brush of your lips against mine
The quintessence of your savoury kiss, will invigorate my soul
And quickly pluck any distaste I had to surrender

All forthcoming moments, will relieve me of my former timidity
Again, I will have the will and strength pervade through your grasp
To stand strong and vibrant with a commitment so powerful
That any trepidation will erode before our very eyes

The awareness of your very presence beside me
Will bring to bare the valour I suppressed within
No longer the anguish or distress will cause my heart to bleed
With body and soul replenished, I shall never wilt again.

                           

Author notes

 

 Access code to the Raven Finals '2007RC036'

 

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Comments

1 - 31 of 31

  • freespirit51
    September 14, 2008

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    Terrific piece of artistry Big Brother. Congratulations on the win. I can feel the passion in your words and it sizzles with each word. Great piece.


    • Silent Cougar Moderators member
      September 14, 2008
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      One I'm proud of Sis, To get recognition form the hosts of the contest that held so many great writers, really did me sit and think, maybe I do have a knack for this.


  • ScarletO gold member
    September 13, 2008
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    You really know how to pour on the fire of romance when you start pouring. Wowzers!!


    • Silent Cougar Moderators member
      September 14, 2008
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      Thanks
      I keep trying, and of it creates a smile on the faces that read my words, then I'm happy.


  • anaisnais
    October 2, 2007
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    ooooo ooohh! who's a clever boy then? lol. well done Mike am pleased for you!


  • bethan-gaze
    October 2, 2007

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    I'm thrilled for you, Mike! Many congrats on gaining an honourable mention in the recent Raven contest - you clever person!!


  • pattyann4500
    October 1, 2007
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    Congratulations, Mikey!

  • pattyann4500
    September 14, 2007

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    Mikey, this one just blew me away!!! Not only is your poetry superb, as always, but this background is so over the top!!! The entire presentation is exquisite! Best of luck in the contest, my sweet little brother. Hugs, Patricia


  • earthstar
    September 11, 2007

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    First observation it the content is well formed. The feelings jump out at the reader. One can rush though it or they will lose the impact. Some readers lose interest at a slow read. It does not have that effect. It intrigues the reader leaves them wanting more at the end.
    This is a very brilliant creative work of art. It has such passion and fire with it. The picture and words bring out the best.
    I truly wish you the very best in the final round. This is enjoyable read.

    • Silent Cougar Moderators member
      September 11, 2007
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      I thank you for your time in reading my work. I appreciate the words you discribe this write, I am very proud of it, and thank you for allowing me the opportunity to show what I can do. Thank you.

  • Raven Judge
    September 10, 2007

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    I have to echo previous critics when I say that you word choice (vocabulary) and use of a metaphor that seems to run the entirety of the piece is as skilled as it is original (for which we are running a deficit theses days). I found the subject matter a little difficult to nail down at first, but, once I did I felt that the work was strong and without visible err (even excepting that flow of the piece is utterly dependent on its ability to hold the reader's attention throughout the text).

    This is certainly a work to be digested slowly over a long period of time and I wish that I had such within this contest to devote to it fully: such is the tragedy often invoked when we limit art and expression to time. Even so, I will be sure to discuss this entry with the other judges to see that it receives its proper due. Well done.

    Thank you for your entry,

    ~Das

    • Silent Cougar Moderators member
      September 11, 2007
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      Das

      I am very pleased that this piece has been seen as a worthy entry into this prestigious contest. Your comments alone have made me very happy indeed. I am honoured to be replied to in such a way, Thank you very much.
      regards
      Mike.


  • Blue Rew silver member
    September 7, 2007

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    Very powerful write and these feelings are well-displayed without seeming self-pitying or even despairing...actually there remains hope written here and that's something we all love to read. Blue


  • Northern Raven
    August 24, 2007

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    I’m very impressed with the strong, dark feel in this poem which I feel has been written to be read at a deliberately slow pace, yet despite the darkness of the content, the piece is not depressing to read at all. In fact it feels quite the opposite, full of hope and a desire to return to a place where love means everything, the ultimate aim in life.

    What I also like here is that even though this poem is written in the first person that can often exclude readers, I found it very inclusive as if they were my thoughts and feelings. Perhaps the content is something that many of us have felt at some point in life and so can relate to easily.

    The vocabulary and structure of it is also pleasing as it is expressive without being over the top and it’s sympathetic to the nature of the work. The only exception I found to this was the word “wilt” in the last line as I don’t think it carries the same weight or is in the same vein as other words such as valour, vibrant, trepidation etc, seeming instead to be rather weak for the conclusion. This is a very enjoyable poem, and though not important in this contest, I like the background too.

    Congratulations on reaching the final round of the Raven Contest 2007 and good luck with this entry.

    Northern Raven

    • Silent Cougar Moderators member
      September 11, 2007
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      I am pleased no end, that this poem has recieved such pleasing comments. It has made writting it more than pleasurable by knowing that it has made others happy in reading. That in itself is reward enough. The fact that I have had three judges comment, and all with comforting words, will make this write one of my own favoured memorable pieces, and for that, I thank you.


  • shadowfox92
    August 4, 2007

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    Wow

    that's truly amazing...terriffic job...pieces like this just capture the senses completely...and makes you stop to think and relate to them sometimes...
    great job...can't wait to read more from you..

    your friend,
    Ace ♠

  • Unknownmind
    August 4, 2007

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    very good write.i like how it goes.u my friend know how to write! keep on writing these good poems, and i will try to comment on them! when i read this i just said wowzie. what a great write. it must of took a very creative imagination to write this. i think u r very soulful and deep. keep up the good work!


  • TwiztidMaggot
    August 4, 2007

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    good job! I really like it. I love the flaming back ground... me being the pyro I am... lmao. and I like the picture at the top! it's cool! good work! keep it up!

    Crimson


  • Soulful Woman silver member
    August 4, 2007

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    I totally loved this. The picture caught my eye immediately and your words captured my soul. The depth of this piece is truly immeasurable. It was a complete package with the flow, content and display. Very well done..
    Soulful Woman

  • Acidanthra
    August 4, 2007

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    Very intelligent write...

    I admire this piece for its imagery and texture of words. It takes a lot of imagination and meditation to write a good poem, and I believe you have accomplished that.

    My emotional response is very empathetic. With each line, my emotions tune into what you are saying... which is good.

    You wanted my honest opinion, and there you have it... I really prefer not to give criticism, because I would feel like a hypocrite. I am also a poet, just like you, and would not want my work to be criticized.

    Keep up the writes!


  • Talking Toni gold member
    August 4, 2007

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    Great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Wow!!! Is all I can say right now !!!! This was simply breath taking!!! Beautiful all other great words one can say cannot pay tribute to this write!!! Yu are a tremendous writer and this is just another example of just that!!! I am envious of yours and others ability to write poams from a word bank. I have only written one and it was from a word bank I comprised myself which made it alot easier!!!Thanks for sharing this amazing piece with me today and it would have been a sure winner if a valid entry!!!!~~Toni~~


  • Sandygram
    August 2, 2007

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    Well Mike, this is amazing!! What a beautiful poem you have penned. Stunning in every way. Too bad you had to take it out of the contest. I am sure it would have won. Your words are so worthy of a Gold. Hope all is well my sweet brother. Hugs and Smiles to you. Sandy


  • moon2u
    August 1, 2007

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    BEAUTIFULL WRITTEN

    THIS IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN
    AND YOU SPEAK WITH SUCH COMMAND
    AND YOU SHOW HOPE!
    BUT YOU ARE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF
    IT IS GOOD TO RECOGNIZE OUR OWN FAULTS
    BUT THEN, WE MUST ALWAYS REMEMBER TO FORGIVE OURSELVES.
    NAMASTE MOON2U


  • Stardust-luvr
    July 30, 2007
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    awesome hun!! You have a wonderful way with words that bring forht the true vision of what is read.


  • Kalima
    July 30, 2007

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    WOW! This is just one of my fav. And I especially like the last stanza. And of course your background... Stacey


  • klassy lassy
    July 30, 2007

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    Out of the heart of one who knows the value of a soulmate...and the half of wholeness that she fills. I think the background in this is also spectacular and fitting with flames unfolding tangerine roses only love would brave. ~ Karen


  • Providence
    July 29, 2007

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    Hhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm… Now this poem is exactly the reason why I do not enter challenges! Wow.

    Marvelous penning. The agony and the ecstasy.

    Bravo!
    Marianne


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    July 29, 2007
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    WOW!

    WHAT A BLAZE!! I smell a winner within the smoke of fiery desires!!!


  • YoursTrulyJulie gold member
    July 29, 2007

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    WOW !

    That's about all I can say. Words would not be enough to describe how good this it. Best of luck (don't think you'll need it though)


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    July 29, 2007

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    OMG! This has to be the best poem you have ever written...I am just blown away...you used those words perfectly and built yourself a masterpiece...Got to be a winner!...Thank you so much for sharing and good luck


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    July 29, 2007
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    Best of Luck to You in This Contest!!!!

1 - 31 of 31