Been ignored, rejected, torn apart,
Flung afar, this bleeding heart
When life gives you shit, it can be shittier than you think
One neat cut can make it all disappear in a blink
This vacuum of spirit, so much, so less
The only hope out of this convoluted mess
Suicide is so not the coward's way out
Every last bit of courage's needed to bring it about
Painfully eager for this heinous crime
One last speck of tear, before being lost in time
The cold sheen of steel, biting into crimson dew
The stain on the shirt, sparkling scarlet hues
One last hurt, before the misery dissolves
Ironically the only time, holding on to resolves
Losing all senses, losing composure
Fatally close to this long-yearned closure
Author notes
~
A contest entry
- Just Do It by Facial Pagan.
520 points, ended August 24, 2007, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - contest by lee-sharp.
300 points, ended October 6, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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this was really hard to get into, very gritty and straightforward, which is usually a good thing, but it kind of missed the mark for me.
the images seemed overused, and the casual handling of such issues like death and cutting just makes this seem like another run of the mill dark piece.
weve all been a little desensitized to this content. theres no longer any shock value in it, so it leaves dark writers with quite the dilemma: having to write poetically. -
ALL TRUE.IN YOUR FACE PEOPLE! sorry.Great write,loved the emotions.Flew right off my tongue like a good poem should.Great job!
The Shi -
most excellent
Shame to loose such a good writer
Excellent words
Good Luck]
B D
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I love these types of poems... and from reading this and your other poetry, I can tell that you are a VERY good writer
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LOve it
Reminds me of my poems a lot..luving it. -
Oh my What a fabulous write indeed. I hope your life isn't really feeling like this at the moment
I can't choose a fave part because it's all great! I do like the part about needing courage to suicide. I have to agree with you there.
Your last four lines are also amazing.
All the best in this contest
Gaylene
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This is really good and really depressing. I hope things aren't that bad but I know how it feels when they are. The last two lines are a perfect end. Wonderful job and thanks for entering.
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