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Love


love doesn't envy, never regrets, never forget
never point a finger, is never sorry about what is said
love's unconditional, it's honest, never lies, nor deny
these were the words you said, last time we fought and cried


but now i am getting blames, the fingers are pointed at me
i am unconditionally loved, i guess the words were just empty
so what is it going to be, how is it going to go
i guess this is an end to our journey, this is the end
great moments and time we have spent


great laugher and precious moments we have shared
those i won't forget, those i won't regret
and you always will have a place in my heart
always be my queen, my princess, my savior
and for that you’re  my number one
and for that you are my number one









JUST OUT OF BLUE DO YOUR BEST ON IT..HAHAHAHA

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Comments


  • Frodofan
    July 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Your tenses seem to be jumping all over the place.

    "love doesn't envy, never regrets, never forgetS
    never pointS a finger, is never sorry about what is said
    love's unconditional, it's honest, never lies, nor denIES
    these were the words you said, last time we fought and cried"

    And so on.

    I actually don't agree with the part about love never being sorry for what was said. Love isn't flawless.

    I think the lack of correct punctuation for the word "I" also takes this piece down several notches.

    All in all I thought this was a little bland.


    • theburninglegend silver member
      July 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      okay

      i will revise this work and see where i am off, and thanks for the comment, they are all welcome, it helps me improve on my writing and putting the piece together...thanks again.


  • Riftkin gold member
    July 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    these lines

    love doesn't envy, never regrets, never forget
    never point a finger, is never sorry about what is said
    love's unconditional, it's honest, never lies, nor deny
    these were the words you said, last time we fought and cried

    let's all see, why I do not believe in love any more


    • theburninglegend silver member
      July 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      yeah tel me

      i know and its sounds stupid to say somtimes but love hurts and hell we or neither one in the relationship deserves to be hurt that bad, lol well thanks for you comment i wil make sure to read some of your work too....glad some one agree with me in this topic....hahahahaha