If only it were as simple as
eliminating with a stroke of a pen
the memories that have left a
smear on my life, and rewrite
the script, depriving you of
the place in my heart that you
don't deserve.
A contest entry
- PIF Saturday Night Quickie 10/40/30 by poet2angels.
575 points, ended July 28, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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it possilly took time to get there and it takes time to erase the smears. It will ocur, just keep working at it.
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great job. Deep thinking. IF we could go back and reverse time. I think everybody would change something.you know what I like about this write is that I like the metaphor of erasing life with a pen and rewriting. brillant.iT was truly from the heart.I dont think its anything wrong with this write. Its brillant.The simplicity mad this piece even deeper.It made you think. Great write.It seem like a mix between Jenp, myself and you. I dont know if that is good.Lol.but great job.I felt this piece from the heart.
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fabulous. this is what i would call poetry, more than any of the supposedly sacred forms filled out by the ghosts of expectation and cliche. poetry should be honest and challenge... it is and should alwasy be about more than syllabic counts and rhyme schemes. to me this scores on every level. as i said. fabulous.
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wow. a sting.
Great write.
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Atomic attacks upon the memory. Perhaps simpler to focus on where you are right now and silence the mind that drags you away into the past.
~ Tom B.
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very well done, this one has bite - I like that
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This is such a simple, yet impacting write.....The imagery truly speaks loudly of how we wish it were only possible to literally erase the cruel pieces of the past.... Awesome write!
Lynda
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I added a picture to my write (noticed you like that- didn't know we could do that in 'quickies')- adds a bit of a sarcastic tone of the hurt to my poem along with the regret, sadness and longing.
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Very Well Done
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your prompt is:
"Erase memories and kill the pain"
or
the picture above
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