You can feel it.
Almost like a serpent;
crawling,
gnawing away at you
under your skin.
A feeling like you're going to be sick.
Migraines smashing your skull to pieces,
bit by tiny bit
from the inside out.
Then it begins;
the shaking.
Your body trembling from head to toe
in an absolute weakness
that you cannot shake.
Screaming at you for a rebellion of want,
to get your own self-inflicted poison.
A little voice inside your head then,
comforting you, cajoling you,
lying to you.
Teasing and begging you.
"You don't have to feel like this,
just smoke one, you know you want to.
Just one more, and you'll feel better."
The sickness within grows,
as you begin to doubt yourself,
doubting your resolve.
"You can't really quit,
you know that you really don't even want to."
Every little sound sets you on edge.
Every little noise driving you insane.
Through everything,
you shake.
And you sweat.
And you feel like you want to puke.
You can't think clearly.
"You can't concentrate without me.
You know you can't, just face it.
You need me and you know it."
No one understands the struggle,
the internal battle.
Just one more couldn't hurt, could it?
Even though, now,
it's all you think about;
inhaling that vile poison.
A nervous twitch to the eye,
driving you to madness.
After all this, you think
"Just one more..."
and the vicious circle continues.
Realization of failure
as the flint strikes a spark,
and the mentholated death enters your lungs.
Author notes
be kind, this is personal.
A contest entry
- Truth Of Death 3: Anything Goes by Claudia Incognito.
300 points, ended August 26, 2007, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - With life comes tears and laughter by Starz of Heaven.
475 points, ended August 8, 2007, 30 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - THE BIGGEST OPTION CONTEST YOU WILL EVER SEE ][ im away for a whole week next week..so be kind and enter please..or ill hunt you down and stalk you][ by x-Black-Butterfly-x.
600 points, ended August 12, 2007, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
be kind, this is personal.
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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its good to see you have entred...do ya think ya could put the option choice in your authors notes
this was a wonderfi; write which was vivid.
my great nan died of lung cancer and im sure this is how my mum felt before she gave up.
this was an emotional and deep piece
thankyou for entering and good luck
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][OPTION 12 (nearly done promise) YOUR DARKEST SECRET][
WRITE ABOUT YOUR MOST DARKEST SECRET
I hate putting stuff in my authors notes, but I hope this is alright.
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Very vivid write.
Lost my stepDad to cancer last year, it started in his lungs. I remember him talking about the battle to quit.
On and off for years.
Good luck with it. It is a worth while fight, and can be won.
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smoke one what??? could u be more specific about it? I can relate to this... I think we all have our own demons to battle. good job, tho. good luck in both contests! keep up your good work!
Crimson -
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Thanks for reading this. Smoke one... lol. I thikn the background and pic kinda tell that tale. Cigarette, Im trying to quit.
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ok, that's what I thought. (I can't see the back ground... haha. but yeah, I used to smoke cigarettes, I'm trying SO hard to quit... I want to for my bf and my BEST friend. lol.) I'm glad ur trying to quit! lol.
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your trying to quit as well? Its very noble that you are trying to quit for your bf, but thats the wrong reason, I think. You should quit for yourself. *smiles* Anyhow, whatever your reason to quit, quitting is the right decision. I hope our having better results than I am.
and best of luck.
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well, I am quitting for him, and for myself... haha. I'm quitting cuz I know I need to... I haven't had one since... like I believe either a month or two ago... I had one b'c I was at work, stressed to NO END... and needed it. (bad reason, but oh well. ha)
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lol, yeah, not a good reason, but thats one of the major reasons why quitters cant quit, is stress, and its relaxing to light one up. *smiles* trust me, I know the reason, and I understand, just hang in there, Im told that it does get easier, but I personally think thats a lie. lol.
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I believe it does get easier... but after a long while of doing it. lol
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Wow, fucking wow. I smoke. I know this feeling. Great job on this one. Best of luck in the contests...Scott
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thanks, my friend, for reading this, and Im glad you understand. *smiles*
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double take
this has got to be hard for you o write somthing like this, that this is sych a personal thing. living with you and actually seeing what a tole this is taking on you... i couldnt have imagined it was this bad. thanks for sharing and dont give in, although i know that it is easier said than done.
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*nods* It can be this bad, sometimes.
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This is an amazing write.I dont smoke but I know alot of people that do. They said it is hard to quite. Thank you for your entry Goodluck to you xxxxxxxxx
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Wow, I loved it. ^^; It's probably because almost everyone in my family smokes from my mom, to my grandma, to my aunt, to my sister. I even tried once and at the age I was...wow. It's truly hard to stop something that's adicting because of those voices that tell you to keep at it, to want it. very well written also. I never though you would be one to enter my contest either. It's a nice week I have going isn't it.
-Reign -
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lol. I didnt know it was your contest, Reign. *smiles* Glad you like it, and glad you understand. *smiles* by the way, I chose the option "A Dark Time" not sure it quite fits, but yeah, its a dark time for me.
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But it wasn't really an option. I just felt like getting it out then I want to know how everyone feels and what everyone writes about. I like knowing how the world is doing and what's going on out there, or else I'd be caged and trapped within not knowing. I'm not logical for my own good sometimes
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I understand how it goes not that I smoke or anything like that, but My Father did and it was hard for him to quit but he never could, Growing up He tried everything patches gum and even hyponiosis, in the end his heart and Lungs Give out. and I have the effects of second hand smoke, and now that I am not around it I get sick when I smell it. but I wish you all the best of luck ! I love the way you wrote about the way Nictine is like controling and saying
"You can't concentrate without me.
You know you can't, just face it.
You need me and you know it."
It is true Nictine is like that
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thank you for reading, and listening to my rant. Its funny if you think about it. I was addicted to heroin at one time, it was easier for me to quit doing that then quit smoking.
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boy, you certainly pegged this one!
This is something everyone needs to
read...Love, Lane
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Thanks, Lane, for reading this one. I havent written a lot of "personal" stuff, but this one is about as personal as it gets, I think. Thanks for taking time to read, everyone who reads this one and comments means a lot to me.
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Hell within and death without, I am here for you my friend, Nick-O-Teen, is a hard think to kick, it steals your soul and leaves you wanting more.
Just know if you need someone I will listen and let you rant and rave.
Riftkin
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thank you, my friend. *smiles*
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what did you think? I am here for you
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Its hard to admit you have a problem. I think, it's hardest to admit you have one... to yourself.
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