Sighing soul sits slumped.
Darkness surrounds
feeding ravenous
on the feeble flickering candle.
Heavy lies the burden
on this sad alienated form.
Life's refuse figure
sitting stark in the light.
Striving vainly
to eke out his existence
on the castoff carrion of man.
Tired and thin, mind wonders
dwelling on the would have,
should have, could have,
of his dismal desiccated life.
Left hopeless in unchangeable now.
America's throwaway man
now left with only hopeful dream
of peaceful quick death
at life's end.
© joyce Ingebritson
A contest entry
- The POW ~* ~* ~* by Arkbear.
500 points, ended July 29, 2007, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - personal favorite by Virgoan.
2000 points, ended June 9, 2008, 64 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - big bang prewrite contest round 1 - 3 by serenity silvermoon.
2100 points, ends December 12, 557 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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thanks for entering!
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"should have, could haves," - going with this line, and the line above it I feel that "haves" at the end would be better as "have".
A nice poem that you have written here.
-Nam
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You have spoken clearly and loudly, very nicely done.
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Very Good
Sad, but it is true. So glad to see you won a trophy for this piece, very inciteful, filled with depth. Excellent job on this piece Joyya!
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This poem is picture of nowadays society. Sad but it is talking to all of us.
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Very good
This speaks volumes, and nice diction. My favorite stanza, "Left hopeless in unchangeable now.
Societies throwaway man
now left with only hopeful dream
of peaceful quick death
at life's end."
Brava!
mj.
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Great Job!
Although very sad, this was very well done! Congratulations on the bronze! It was well deserved. Keep em coming...
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Excellent piece! I see that the contest ended and that you took bronze! Congratulations! I'm curious to know what the topic was for the contest? The poem made me quite sad and caused me to wonder how the man got where he was in this story. Great job!
Carolyn
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In our city there are many old men standing on street corners begging for money. I drew from them, wondering if they would change anything if they could. In my minds eye I could see one of them sitting at night with just a little candle for light.
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Excellent entry ~
Your topic is superb ~
Presentation flawless ~
Tone....awesome ~
Ability to make me re-read....splendid ~
There are a few good entries in the Finals...
...I wish you the best with this great entry ~
LOVED it!
Please show me your talent again in the POM,
Poem of the Month,
beginning tomorrow ~
You have superb talents!
Let's see it again!
Bear ~
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Wow, a very powerful piece. The alliteration is awesome. The best of luck to you in the contest!
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