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My Mountain I

The sounds that mound my Earth is broken
On the day when times lust has spoken.
          O' the words forever more will lie
within thy souls of tears he sigh.
And he whom hast been sewn'
through the path he hast been grow'n.
          without the laughter under his favorate spot tree,
the sweet but honest truth that bore he and swelled in he;
while the stars are the Moonsire's highway,
for he, torn through guilt that his eyes taught him sway.
When groun master-pieces paint his day, and his spirit's lively way,
grows trough the ends of his grave.

And though he paces together the ocean's wave.
  For
no one can score what another's race has bore,
but has called all to another shore.
Thus enchanting his heart to another time (not able to handle his own grime),
with pieces yet again ... again ... as if no time existed the day.

' All of the time'
-Quote the day

Now the experience is past due
thoughts are minded the whole day through.
And the mountain will sing in he (as time
grew through his own grime),
and called himself the day.

Therefore there is nothing more,
upon that moutain shore.
      to be
the hope that will grow in he.

Only his hope has flow'd through he
through the mountain who is me.

Author notes

My Favourite Author is Edgar Allen Poe. And I wrote this in exploration Of how he uses his tone in writing. So tell me how you think I did ...

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • i really like the old-fashioned language in this write. thank you for sharing this with me today and i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie


  • Dorick
    May 13, 2008
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    Couldn't even finish.

  • Country Mischief
    November 8, 2007
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    Great read here. You words are all imagery. Intense all the way. Very good.


  • Sandra R Reynolds gold member
    October 13, 2007
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    Good

    Good write and imagery. I like Edgar Allen Poe as well.

  • Climbing2nothing
    September 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    THE style is quite intense on the spiraling mind, repetition of words let it down, otherwise the advancing theme of self respect upon the days of routine are quite well to dance with like light on the closed eye and so as a meditation would let the mind focus away from the circles that would lead one blind, upon a tread mill of bewildered blurs...

    anyheys alittle tweaking and this is a very nice piece of work, thanks for sharing w peaches and custard
    -JAS


  • geminidiva
    September 4, 2007
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    absolutely breathtakingly beautiful


  • October Rust
    September 3, 2007

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    Wow

    This is fairly amazing I have to say. Very deep, and a wonderful way of expressing the concept. This was very interesting for me, and very different also. I'm not going to underscore the loveliness of this piece by relating it to Poe, although the style is there. I think this poem shows your own style also. Very nice.


  • Devils Reject
    August 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow i love this!! i like the poe style you used in this piece. its simply awesome!!


  • EternitysLastWish
    July 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Another brilliant piece! Throughout the poem you encapsulated the tone of Poe and used it to the most effective extent, leaving quite a haunting impact on the reader. Lovely rhyme scheme, and I really like the rhythm, it flows very well and is pleasing to the eye, or ear if it is being read out loud.

    You are truly an artist.

1 - 9 of 9