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Back to Life

 

 

 

 

 


As I gently caress
the bruises
you left on my neck
I'm re-living
those dangerous
feelings
that only we
could share
together.

...I'm still on a high.

But why did you talk of leaving my bed?
She could never love you like I.

I know
you'd miss
my intense fingertipped kiss,
invitiations,
incitations,
and that thing
I do so well with my breath
...just for you

to keep you alive
in those split seconds
between life and death.

Would she play
your favourite sport
and share the darkness of
...la petite mort.

Just like WE did a moment ago.

Yes just like a moment ago
...But now I'm back

and as I pause
to light a cigarette
I'm wanting to know

Why did you have to speak of her ?

You must have realised
that
those dark
melancholic musings
of whips, of fur
would chill my mind
into voyeur
and turn me dangerously on.

Lying here
I'm erasing your words
from my mind 'til
all that I hear,
are the midnight chimes
from our precious
gilted clock
tick tock, tick tock
and the world will turn on it's axis.

Then I know
it will be too late

and as another day arrives
I'll kiss you one more time
I know that this time
Is the last time
because this time...

I didn't give you my breath
and bring you back to life.





Author notes

yeah.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 39 of 39

  • sensualbutterfly
    July 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I found it kind of dark, but very nicely written. Thank you for entering


  • Edna Sweetlove
    April 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "and share the darkness of
    ...la petite morts"
    ????

    share the darkness of the little female dead men? Brilliant irony.

    If you must use French, try to get it right, dear.

  • Nicole Hanna
    December 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "oh so addictive"... nuh uh... not a big fan of that kind of phrasing. It sounds like you couldn't find a creative enough phrase to describe HOW addictive. However, with that said, I really enjoyed the intensity of this piece. It's not as refined as I generally appreciate, but that doesn't mean I didn't find myself invested in the story by the time I finished reading. That's good skill there. Thanks for entering.


  • SOLS.Moonlight
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was strangely alluring. I have many other thoughts, but I must say this poem is one filled with a abusive passion. My favorite line was: "You must have realised
    that
    those dark
    melancholic musings
    of whips, of fur
    would chill my mind
    into voyeur
    and turn me dangerously on"
    Thank you for the entry


  • freebutsafe
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for being the first to enter my comp! Though I cannot see how this relates to Michael Hutchence, I appreciate your entry. All the best in future competitions!


  • Exodus gold member
    November 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my goodness. WOW! I'm not sure what to say about this because it's so great from start to finish! I'm so glad you decided to enter because this blew me away. Thank you


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    November 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well... Wow. I know how it feels to be addicted to someone really that you shouldn't be addicted to, but... Yeah, I just think that's what I can say. This was well written, I very much liked it. It was powerful, strong and it creeped me out [great mix if you are going to be getting my attention]. I can see others have liked your piece too, which is understandable. Very eerie, but beautifully disturbing. The kind I like.


  • copypastedelete
    October 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    Good luck in the contest. So discriptive in so few words. Awesome.

    JT


  • DancingRed
    September 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A heart-breaking poem of love and death, with such a deep sense of regret and pain. However, I'm sorry but because it's over twenty lines it probably won't win in my contest.
    Best of luck in future contests


  • Provocatuer
    September 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing!.. another great write from you, I love how well this flows, and the word choice omg!.. truly great.
    But its sad . I can relate very well to this poem it really hit home.
    "As I gently caress
    the bruises you left on my neck
    I'm re-living
    that oh so addictive feeling
    in my soul
    that only we could share together.

    I'm still on a high."
    My favourite!! haha "Im still on a high" reminds me so much of the great times Secrets and i have together!!. I love it so much. Keep it up! two thumbs way up

    -khaos-


  • Riftkin gold member
    August 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Then I know it will be too late
    and as another day arrives
    I'll kiss you one more time
    I know that this time
    Is the last time
    because this time...



    sad and beautiful

  • Francis Vincent
    August 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    really good

    i jus5t love the imagery
    love, rejection, time, life, death, games, solitude
    the time honored
    "and as I pause to light a cigarette"
    probably goes back to the indians, lol
    most importantly, the ending
    "you" are in control


  • Swan song gold member
    August 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very good! I like the refelctive moment in the firest stanza and I like te list of comparisions you make between yourself and this other lover.


  • Abv. 01101001
    August 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful. Sad... Everything I like
    good job. (:


  • skyviewexpress
    August 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You need to put what philia this poem is expressing in order to be further advanced in the judging process!


  • Uniquely-Scarred
    August 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    loved this not sure about the last linf though Laughing


  • Forbidden Tempest
    August 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Great write, thankyou for entering and best of luck.


  • Naridill
    August 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting intake. Beautiful word play and interesting thoughts.
    Thanks for entering.
    Much luck.


  • KnightOfTheRose gold member
    August 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    great work! I really enjoyed reading this piece! In the line "Just like WE did a moment ago." I love how you capitalized "WE" gave it so much more power! Again great job! Thank you so much for entering! Excellent work and the best of luck in my contest!!


    -Steve-

  • trace3grls
    August 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    great write


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    August 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    "those dark melancholic musings
    of whips, of fur"

    like that image


  • Violent Serenity
    August 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! what an engaging creation of life vs. death in darkness. lovely. keep it up, good luck in the contest!


  • Mybeautyisfake
    August 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    stunning!
    thank you so much for your entry!


  • AshliiAsphyxiation
    August 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is...ahhmazing


  • letters to no one
    August 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this really amkes you read between the lines and figure out what exactely went on..


  • TwiztidMaggot
    August 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow, this is intense. you did a great job writing this! good luck in all the contests... and congrats on your win... keep up your good work!

    Crimson


  • Mrs-Gollihue
    August 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    I really enjoyed reading this poem. Thank you for entering it in my contest and best of luck to you.


  • PerfectImperfection
    August 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    For some reason I am very drawn into what is not said here. The poem itself is quite captivating. Very sad and endearing; there are moments where it almost begs to be read. I like that. In what is said, there is a constant longing for knowledge, but with a power to leave it or take it. As in:
    "I know that this time
    Is the last time
    because this time...

    I didn't give you my breath
    to bring you back to life."

    This tied the piece together well. Thank you for your entry & Best wishes in the contest!


  • edit my world.
    August 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    beautifully done


  • Great Puppett V
    August 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    excellent job

    The imagery flowed well and the rhythm was excellent throughout the entire piece. Thanks for entering and good luck.

  • Acidanthra
    July 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    That was deep!

    I absolutely love it! I felt love, jealousy, and regret when I read this poem. I'm not sure that was your emotional intent, but you did succeed in making me feel something. Defintiely a victory!

    Great write!

    Cith


  • Ice phantom
    July 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    thank you

    this is one of the better poems in my contest thank you


  • PaintedParisPassion
    July 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Lying here
    I'm erasing your words
    from my mind 'til
    all that I hear,
    are the midnight chimes
    from that precious gilt clock
    tick tock, tick tock
    and the world will turn on it's axis.

    That stanza was amazing
    The whole poem was amazing
    thanks for sharing this with us,
    best of luck in the contest!!

    :]



    PaintedParisPassion


  • grannyeri gold member
    July 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very deep and dark, letting us interpret some of these words in our own way -seems so poignant as well - as if this is the last time, the final time, and you are a bit saddened by that thought. Sentiments well expressed, liked the flow and the repetition of time in that second last verse. Think there is no winner in this little game, - here both have lost.


  • LadyUnique silver member
    July 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow... is this ever on the darker, sexual side

    you've done an amazing job of it too and your comment says this is a 'first go'?? amazing for a first try

  • JustBreathe
    July 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very erotic. Don't know if I'm grownup enough for it, but I like these lines...

    I'll kiss you one more time
    I know that this time
    Is the last time
    because this time...
    I didn't give you my breath
    and bring you back to life.

    The "life" of the affair is officially over. Thanks for the read. Good luck in the contest!



  • knock
    July 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very sensual
    very dark
    very good


  • elemental angel
    July 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderfully dark erotica, I really like what you have done here, Great sensual imagery. Best of luck in the contest.
    Bravo

1 - 39 of 39